The Diary Of Dib Membrane
by Aki-Bunny
Summary: "Of course I'd be blessed with suicidal disorders and a zombie apocalypse. And of course I get to spend it with Keef, Zim and Gaz. What else can go wrong?" An ongoing Valentine's 'Gift' for Lynnie.
1. Dear Fucking Diary

Log 1: Date, October 29th, time, 10:43 p.m.

Intro: I find this to be a rather redundant specification in this venting journal considering it's intentions are to help me cope with my recently diagnosed depression, and stimulate brain activity for my 'lack of motivation' and 'loss of creativity', as well as help my insomnia I suppose, which explains why I'm writing this so late. Regardless, I don't really see a point in telling this inanimate object whom I am or why I'm here, considering, I know this and no one else is going to read it.

Hopefully, my sister won't either but nowadays she finds me too useless to pester, an insult or two about my recent un-closeted homosexuality is tossed around but that's it, she no longer makes it a point to ruin my day considering, '. . .You're [I'm] not worth my [her] time'.

Where to begin. . . well, I haven't really journalled in years, and even so it was to record information on paranormal beings for research, a hobby I gave up long ago. Why I gave it up, well. . . no one believed me and after such a long time, I'm doubting on believing myself and am considering the words of my ignorant peers, I could've been crazy. Over exposure to this sort of stuff as a child could have locked it into my psyche. Though even if they're right it doesn't mean they're intelligent, i.e my mentioning of their ignorance. I'll always be smarter than them, and even though the intelligence is 'un-praised' by terms such as, 'know-it-all' and 'nerd', it'll never be forced away as my previous beliefs were.

Where did the insanity truly begin? Perhaps it was when my father was never around, I'd always praised and respected him for his vast intelligence but growing up and becoming more defiant as a teen I truly understood his intelligence, it was all books and no brain, the sort of, 'intelligence' you see a girl with a gleaming smile and straight A's may have, the sort of intelligence that makes you believe you're smart when really, you're just another ignorant meat-bag with a clouded view of reality and a fear of new things. As a scientist you'd think he'd been open to the thought of my research but he pushed it away with a closed mind, and whether it was because he was ignorant or feared having a crazy son isn't my deduction.

I've already explained my sister, Gaz, a rebel in her own, the type of girl who doesn't give two shits about her family whom tries their hardest for her because on the inside she's just a scared little girl who doesn't

understand the world. She masks it with purple hair dye and cheap eyeliner, parties and coming home late. She used to be okay, I mean she never believed me to begin with but even she knew about. . . him.

Him, better yet, Zim. Zim, the bane of my existence, the reason my father almost forced me into a mental ward at fourteen, perhaps the reason why I'm on so much medication. Because he. . .is an alien. And that I know, I know it with all my heart but, there's just no fucking point to proving it now. Humans are blind and ignorant, and if the aliens do take over, I'll welcome them with open arms knowing that they may just be a little more emotionally, and philosophically intelligent than the useless meatbags here. I would try to befriend Zim, in some ways he's a lot like me I guess, even if we were pointing fingers at each other with blind hatred. . . he was an outcast too. I kind of feel bad, I mean sure he was overly animated, just as I was but I can sort of sympathize the loneliness in his heart.

I mean, from what I know he was exiled to earth from his peers, sort of how I was exiled from society from mine. He doesn't really have any friends, I mean he tolerates Keef, whom has smothered him in unrequited affection since the day they met but that's it, and Keef is rather annoying, an optimist with a.d.h.d and too much time on his hands, though he's somewhat matured. He doesn't really have any family, I mean he has GiR, but GiR irritates the shit out of him, he'll probably snap one day. Then the jokes from peers. . . again there is way too much ugliness in the world especially from outsiders. It's rather sad to see Zim shift from this eccentric kid to such a dull teenager, I'm sure he plots against earth but what other choice does he have?  
I feel bad for the guy but he and I don't speak much at all not that we're in 'hi-skool', as the district spells it for god knows what reason.

I don't feel as though I've made any substantial progress, but it's past midnight, and I get to awake in four hours to enter the joy of entering the cattle swarmed halls of hell. . . and knowing Gaz, she'll be home soon

Good night.

Log End: October 30th, 12:06 a.m.


	2. Lock-Down

Log 2. Date, October 30th, 11:49 a.m

I've decided writing during school will help me tolerate the ignorance of the world, in a way it's rather relaxing. . . I planned on doing so during phys. ed but today we had to swim, and I hadn't the time and didn't wish to ruin this booklet with wet hands. I saw Zim, again, though he sat alone on the bench, considering his, "allergy" to "chlorine", when he and I both know his alien skin is hydrophobic just as water is to the legs of a phospholipid inside a cell's membrane...Or oil is to water, that is if it turned blood shot red and boiled into an awful rash. Though I didn't speak out against it, who'd listen?

AP biology was okay, it's probably one of the best classes I've ever taken but maybe the love of advanced science runs through my bloodline, even Gaz does well in her Chemistry class. I also enjoy seeing Zim, though we don't speak and he barely looks at me, he just sits there with a bored look on his face. His disguise has gotten better, I must admit that, perhaps it's something he'd finally beaten Tak at because if I didn't know him, I'd say that pale skin actually was a condition or perhaps a lack of nutrients as my father refers to mine. That and not wanting to go into the sunlight. I still wonder why people don't question his unusual shade of eyes. . . I mean he disguises himself as a brunette, so albinism is out. . .maybe they think they're contacts since they already label him as a "faggy emo". Original right? I'd know. . . Ugh. But he seems to have mastered the human's concept of the, "middle finger" every time they say such things.

I can't help but wonder why he's still here if he probably doesn't give much of a damn, by now he could do as he pleases rather than blend in with kids. Though he's an alien I'd worry if he dropped out, still he'd be stable, he's an alien. Would I miss him, or the memories of having someone whom acknowledged my existence. . . still I'd never know, maybe he hates me and still sees me as a lesser human, they're probably not as complex as they seemed which must've been a disappointment to him. If I think about it, earth is an insult and he's been forced here. . .

We might have partner projects soon, and considering this is one class Keef and him don't have together he and I might be partners considering every one hates us. . . I don't really know how to feel about it. . .  
Though I should pay attention to the words 's is writing on the board, I was indifferent to finding out she'd be my new English teacher but I've gotten used to it. She says my higher level vocabulary and use of simile goes to waste on my dismal works. Though on occasion she praises me as a greater student and it feels good. Though for once I'm blessed with a seat in the back so she probably doesn't noticed I'm not paying attention, and the bell is due any moment now.

And there it goes. . .

Pos-

Wait. . .no it's ringing for a really long time, I feel the need to record my surroundings unusual right now as rushed to lock the doors and hush the class.

Lock down.

I know it's not a drill, I can see that much in the confusion on Mrs.B's face, maybe another escapee from the nearby asylum, maybe a weapon on campus, I don't know how they never found mine. Maybe Zim finally succeeded and is currently taking over. . . is it strange I hope for the latter?

No. . . it's not any of those sadly, I can hear the muffled sound of the announcements as the class quiets down, only overpowering the first few words. I'll try to write as much as I can remember, but with a penmanship ocd and slow writing I can only do so much, thankfully the principal's words are calm and slow, but I can hear the fear in his voice and am slightly interested.

"-Not a drill. I repeat not a drill. All students must remain calm."

Of course this asshole wouldn't tell what the fuck is going on.

"The lapse of this lock down in unpredicted."

I can already hear the worried sighs of the boys and girls. I'm not worried, just curious.  
Maybe it is Zim. Good for him, he needed a break.

I need to keep writing and at the same time can't stop. . . I'll continue soon.

Temporary End Log. Oct.30 12:01 a.m (Looks like I don't get to enjoy the oh-so-wonderful cafeteria food.)


	3. Text Messages from Satan

Log 3, 12:15 p.m October 30th.

I find it necessary to continue this, even though I'm positive now Isn't the time, maybe it's the old me coming out. . . either way. It looks as though I have to ignore my perfect penmanship, but it's a sacrifice I must make, it feels as though a fire is being re-lit within me, and if my assumptions are correct it's big, why else would Gaz message me at a time like this? She doesn't speak with me to begin with and now I get a text stating, "Meet me at 12:25 in front of the west wing girls bathroom."

This has to be big.

It's almost 12:22 and I need to find a way out and suddenly the phone rings, Mrs.B picks it up only glancing at me every so often before nodding at me and saying, "Dib, go. Your father said you'd understand."

My. . . father? I grabbed my stuff and ran, of course with this fucking journal in hand to where Gaz said to meet her.

Log 3 end. 12:24 p.m

"Dib!" She yelled from across the hall. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with her but at least the teachers know not to open the damn doors to anyone, even students in need during a drill like this, especially in a town like this with a high school a block away from an asylum and a bio-hazardous lab.

"What the fuck is going on Gaz?"

"Don't you get snippy with me if I had a fucking choice I wouldn't have helped you in this." Her own fucking brother. . . Fuck I hate her.

"So what's going on, is dad okay?"

"Yeah. . .But-"

"But?"

"But let me fucking finish, dib-worm." Love that nickname, "You said when we were small one day the dead would rise from their graves, right?"

"Well yeah, Zim made it happen once too if I remember."

"God you're so gay for him it's sick-"

"I don't like Zim!"

"Right." Her eyes rolled. . . I sympathized with him but. .. did I like him...No of course not! "Something happened at the lab, a biological breakout."

"Is it airbourne?"

"Not yet."

"Is dad infected?"

"Not yet."

"Quit fucking saying yet. What the hell is the disease? What does it have to fucking do with me believing zombies were real?"

"You were right."

"Yeah and I bet I was fucking right about vampires and werewolves-" and in that moment I felt the blow of Gaz's fist knock me to the floor, soon after feeling the marks from her rings sting.

"Shut the fuck up for a minute! There is a fucking outbreak!"

"How do you know?"

"I got the message from dad."

"And he couldn't messag-" I shut my mouth before she lifted her fist.

"Listen, we need to get out of here, there's going to be someone waiting for us to get to a safe point because we all fucking know how great dad's lab is about containment."

"How far has it fucking spread? The district? The town?"

"A little past the city."

"Are you fucking serious. . .?" I knew this would be big but god fucking damn it. "Dib, what happens in those movies you watch, what do they fucking do to try to keep it under control?"

I shrugged, I've seen dozens of movies, shows, and even cartoons about zombies.

"Well, the army isn't going to come in and kill everything, what else?" she rolled her eyes finding me useless to explain, though I think I knew, "Termination of the providence."

Incineration.

"You don't mean nuke us? There are too many innocent bystanders-"

"Not for long."

Just how bad was this?

"Okay...We're leaving then but. . ." I couldn't leave. . .

"Fine."

"You didn't know what I was going to say-"

"You wanna bring Zim." Fuck. "Go get him, you have two fucking minutes."

Before I could argue with her that I didn't fucking like him, I ran. His class was right besides mine, which means he was in history. . . Great.


	4. I Really Hate This Kid

Since I'm not logging this would it be considered talking to myself? It's not as if it's out loud but still, I find it unusual to do this much thinking, have I always thought so much? Is this what they meant by thinking aloud? No of course not, I've been completely silent (minus the asthmatic gasping) since I began running back to the history room where Zim would be. Though I didn't think all the variables through, did I? Why on earth would they let me in if we're on lock down?

Fuck.

Still, I hadn't much time for this, "thinking" I had to keep running before I-. . . Slammed into some one, but who?

Fuck. Again.

Of course it'd be just my luck to slam into Zim.

"Z-Zim." He looked down, at me and I could feel my face burning.

"Dib." He said my name- That's gay...I mean really gay, even for me. I mean I don't consider myself gay perse, I mean I liked Tak at some point. . . I think, maybe I'm bicurious? "Dib-Human, are you listening?"

"Y-yeah"

"Hi Dib!"

Triple fuck. Of course Keef would be with him, I mean it's not exclusive but they're probably boyfriends with all the time they spend together, and all of the fucking clinging that ginger fuck does. I hate him.

"Hey..Keef." I sighed as I pushed myself up, "Zim, why're you. . . two out here?"

He lifted his phone, "Gaz texted me."

Why did that skank have his number? Ugh, I know this is no time for my jealousy but-Fuck if she claims to know how I feel about him why didn't she give me his number. I'd probably be too shy to call anyways, I know I'd've dialed the number, then closed the damn phone, gasping in nervousness.

"Well." Zim sighed.

"Well...what?" I asked. I probably sounded like a fucking idiot.

"Well, are we going?"

"Yeah."

"Yay~!" Keef said happily, latching onto Zim's forearm. Did this fucker have to be so damn...Irritating?  
And-And...Zim was fucking letting this asshole do it! Fuck! I began running with them towards where Gaz was.

"Glad you could fucking make it." She sighed, tugging her back higher onto her shoulder.

"Wow you guys curse way too much."

"I said one damn curse."

To be honest, I've yet to curse aloud. Keef is just to much of a goody-two-shoes prick.

"It's okay Keef." Zim sighed.

Ugh. I can't keep counting these damn fucks.

"We should be going." Gaz said, checking her watch.

"We're not leaving the area right now." Zim began, "We have to get supplies from my and Dib's lab, that is if he's kept it up."

"Of course I have." I sighed...Well, it's not as if I've kept it super clean, but I had a lot of old equipment, and some new things I'd tinker with whenever I needed alone time.

"Then we'll go to mine first." Zim said, "Who's got the means of transportation?"

"Well." Gaz started, "There should be a bus out there-"

"No."

"No?"

"Do you really think they'd stop at some teens' places so they could get equipment? I'm not sorry when I say your race is sincerely primitive when it comes to common sense, especially your adults. They're all fucking brainwashed or something." Zim continued, "They'd consider their 'machine guns' superior to my and dib's weaponry when we all know even as teens we're superior."

"I suppose" She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms, "Fine, but how do you presume we go? I ride the bus and Dib takes his moped.

"It' a motorcycle." I rolled my eyes, "Mopeds are gay."

They all scoffed a bit. My bicuriousity wasn't that obvious was it?

"I'm not that gay!"

"Aww Dibby we never said that." Ugh..fuck off Keef.

"Keef rides his bike, and I walk." Zim said as he looked down at his watch.

"We could take the bus." Keef smiled.

"How?" What an idiot.

"Well, Zim is strong, he could take down the driver." What a kiss-ass.

"Or just use this." Zim said, pulling a gun...like-weapon from his bag.

"Aww Zimmy don't kill him!" Keef whined. Ugh this asshole is so fucking annoying.

"I won't, I'm simply rendering him unconscious. . . permanently." He smirked.

"But Zimmy!"

"Either him or you." I didn't mean to say that aloud, but I couldn't help smiling when Zim grinned a bit.

"What Dib-worm said."


	5. Let's Kill a Guy and Steal a Bus

I've decided to continue these self-vents even if it rendered me a bit insane, I suppose I could do what I used to, speaking into a recorder and what not but people would obviously hear me, I mean we are all rather close, or at least we have to be right now. Though this shouldn't be something to focus on, now should it? I can't help but pant and gasp a bit, I mean I'm not out of shape, I'm rather healthy despite my asthma, and my inhaler is nowhere to be found, just my luck; as usual.

I can't help but glance over at Zim every so often, though I worry his eyes will catch mine and I'll do something stupid like trip and fall, I mean it's already likely with these boots.

Regardless, I should just focus on catching up.

"C'mon Dibby, you gotta run faster than that if you wanna live!"

"You say it so cheerfully." I hissed as I continued to pick up some pace.

"Of course, you've got to be especially cheerful in situations like this."

What a fucking tool. I mean honestly, the world never lets someone be depressed and when it comes to moments like this, when we're supposed to, this asshole; this motherfucker right here goes and says I shouldn't be? No, maybe he's right. I should be so fucking cheery for so many reasons, I mean at least I was fucking right. God I hate optimists.

"Shh." Zim hushed as we turned to a corner, "Gaz is that a guard or the driver?"

"Both."

"Seriously? Your Doctor Membrane's kids and they only send one guy?"

"Shit I know right."

Since when did they get so buddy buddy? Ugh, fuck. Stop it Dib, quit being so damn jealous.

"Aww what's wrong Dib, why so-" I swear if this ass hat fucking says it, "Dim?"

"Ugh-"

"Keef be quiet." Zim said as he lifted the gun, aiming it towards to guard, "Shh.." He close an eye as he kept his finger on the trigger. I know this wasn't an 'earth' gun, but it had a similar anatomy, despite the hot pink color. I'd always wondered why Zim enjoyed that color so much, I suppose on his planet it was either masculine or depressing.

A shot went off, it wasn't as loud as a bullet, and a bullet definitely didn't come out, just some sci-fi laser looking thing. It was pretty fucking cool.

"Got him." Zim smirked as he nodded for us to follow. Keef began to frown a bit as we made it near the body, he was obviously shot somewhere near the chest but he bled from his ears and eyes as well.

"Don't cry." Zim sighed, resting a hand on the ginger's shoulder. I fucking hate this kid so much right now.  
Keef kneeled down beside the body and closed it's eyes, pressing his palms together to pray. Of course this asshole is Christian.

"Keef, we don't have time." Zim said. Keef nodded, and once a-fucking-gain, grabbed Zim, this time on his wrist. Zim winced a bit.

"S-sorry, I forgot." Keef sighed, grabbing his hand instead. I couldn't help but feel a little hurt, so I excluded myself, sitting as far back in the bus as possible. Keef began jumping around a bit, from seat to seat.

"Didn't you take your damn medication?"

"Zim don't curse!" He sighed again, why the hell does he listen to this kid?

"Did you?" He asked, a bit more calm. Keef shook his head.

"Medication?" I couldn't help but ask.

"His ADHD meds." Zim said as he sat beside the red head. "Try to calm down a bit Keef. You're irritating."

Should I have been happy or a bit more emo at that?

Gaz got in after looting the dead guard, "I got his keys and his watch."

"Classy." Smirked Zim.

"You know it."

Why the hell are they so damn close? When did this fucking happen.

"Now, who's driving?"

"Keef obviously can't." Zim sighed, "Why not you?"

"I don't have a license."

"So?" They grinned at each other.

"As much as I love bending the rules, I don't even know how to drive, let alone a bus."

"Alright, Dib rides a moped-"

"Motorcycle."

"So I suppose that leaves me" Zim smirked, grabbing the keys. "Keef sit still."

"Yes Zim." This fucker was too damn peppy.

Zim analyzed the controls a bit before starting the bus, it wasn't a school bus it was a little nicer and wasn't a god awful yellow (even that I admit was a little gay but I'm positive no one likes that shade anyways), yet Keef managed to perk up, 'the wheels on the bus' in his overly hap

"Keef."

"Yeah, Zimmy?"

"Stop."

"Okay."

Thank high non-existent heavens. Still, they listened to each other so much, they all seemed to be cool with each other, even Gaz who sat up front would say things to him and they'd both actually. . . laugh a bit. I couldn't help feeling excluded. I sighed a bit, though I'm used to it, I always have been and always will be.  
I just leaned against the window, stretched my lanky legs a bit and closed my eyes, when I pictured the apocalypse I thought it'd be an unusually sunny day, as if nothing could go wrong, or an excruciatingly hot one so the sky would seem a bit more...red and end of the world-ish. But no, it'd actually been gray, it was a bit cold, but it didn't rain or snow, nothing extreme. It didn't lower my mood, I loved this sort of weather, if anything it made me feel a bit less lost . . . a bit less alone and let me think a bit.


	6. My First Kiss?

"Dib...Dib!" Ouch fuck. I blinked a bit, wincing at the light, though the clouds still lessened it, it was change from y'know being unconscious. I suppose I fell asleep, though the ride from the Skool to Zim's house couldn't have been that long. Gaz shook my shoulder again.

"We're here you idiot get up."

I adjusted my glasses, wobbling to get up a bit as Zim and Keef left the bus. Gaz and I caught up, Zim's house was still that unusual pink-think that set apart from the other's quite blatantly but he's right, our adults were something unusually ignorant, as if they were brainwashed to not think, maybe it was in the food, or t.v or something. At the door we were greeted by GIR.

"Puppy!" Keef said, as he lifted it.

It looked nothing like a puppy. Zim still smiled a bit as Keef held onto GIR who some how seemed to enjoy the petting. I mean it's a robot, how does it enjoy that? Well...it does eat and drink. We all followed Zim until stopping. Zim grabbed my forearm, He'd squeezed a bit to hard, I still had some. . . scars, and pulled me onto the lift.

"Keef, Gaz, wait here." He said as he tugged on a lever which pulled us down.

Gaz flopped on the couch, and Keef followed, even from down here I could here her and GIR fight over the remote.

"GIR; SLEEP-MODE."

The noise stopped.

I glanced around a bit as we went lower and lower underground, I coudln't help but feel my face heat up a bit considering Zim and I were alone, and he did grab my arm.

"Dib, you're zoning out a bit."

"Sorry." I shook my head a bit as I stepped off the lift. Zim looked around the lab and grabbed rather large duffel-like bags, tossing two to me.

"I need you to grab as many weapons as you can which aren't connected to the mainframe."  
So he meant guns and stuff.

"Now since you're obviously more intelligent than the others you should help me decide whether we take a ship or not."

"Why wouldn't we take a ship."

"Well, it would get us farther away faster." He said, as he packed tools into some of the bags, "But it's a bit more noticeable."

"Obviously."

"And who knows how long it'll take to make another AC Adapter to fuel it's energy means."

"Then we'll just take the bus, I mean you learned to drive it rather quickly and it probably just runs on gas or something."

"Diesel."

"Right. . . Hey, Zim?"

"Hn?"

"Why are you helping us?" I couldn't help but ask, of course I was curious.

"I was exiled from my planet a long time ago. I hate this place too but, at least when they hate me they don't lie about it."

"Lie about it?"

"They don't make my accomplishments feel like nothing...they don't condescend me. Well in a way. I mean from what I've gathered after a few years here I can see they hate individualism."

True.

"They don't like people who are different, but they pick on them because they're afraid of what they don't understand." He sighed, as he sat at his chair, typing multiple symbols into his computer as more and more messaged registered.

Very true.

"Is that why you like Keef so much." Shit why did I ask that? I've got to get over this habit of speaking without thinking. But his expression didn't change much, it was still unreadable.

"He was my first friend. Though I exiled him."

"Why?" He turned and laughed a bit.

"He's really irritating." I couldn't help but laugh a little too, "Still he was the first human who wanted to be friends with me, he didn't accuse me of being an alien."

"Uh, hello you are an alien."

"Yes, but even though Keef knows it he accepts it. Besides I was too lonely after a while."

"I accept it." I sighed a bit, starting to feel a bit bad about my past.

"No, you wanted to expose it for your own glory."

Ouch.

"Still, I would have too, if anything to gain the respect from my elders...We're rather similar." He sighed,

"Though, we could have been friends, I mean we were both lonely."

I honestly wasn't sure what to make of Zim's words, my heart began to pound a bit but after I filled the second bag, I tossed it over my shoulder. These weapons were pretty heavy.

"Anyways, we should be off." He said. I nodded.

I was a bit disappointed, I'm not going to lie because I knew that once we got back up there, Keef would cling to him once again and I'd be a third wheel . .despite my sister being there, which wasn't very good phrasing but, oh well.

"You're different too, y'know."

That was random.

"I know."

That was arrogant of me.

"I mean, you lack the common ignorance of your species."

I smiled a bit, hearing such a compliment made me rather happy. Before I could glance up, Zim's lips caught mine, just briefly but they did, and I was stunned silent.

Fuck.


	7. Home Sweet Home

So, my mind is obviously still a bit out of control, I was just kissed. My first kiss. And it was from a guy. An alien guy-Who has a fucking boyfriend! And who I thought, up until an hour or so ago hated me. I really can't focus my thoughts on anything

"Why did you.." I didn't know what to really ask.

"Shh."

"But you're with Keef-"

"Shh." He hushed again. "Never said we were together.-"

"I'm not into you."

"I bet." He smirked as he pulled the second lever, lifting us up.

What the hell was that?! I mean honestly, how does he just kiss someone like that!? As we made it back to ground level, Tak and Keef sat on the couch, watching the news wide-eyed.

"Guys check this out!" Keef said...well more like yelled in a really gay and unusually happy tone for the current situation.

"What?" Zim said "Holy shit."

"Zim don't curse!" Keef whined.

"Ugh..Sorry."

As the screen blared signals very so often images of the outbreak would appear and it had been rather gruesome. It'd looked just like a horror movie-

"Tak!"

Her and Keef began laughing like crazy, they'd just turned on a horror movie, which wasn't very funny.  
"Not funny." Zim sighed, "Turn on the actual news."

"Aww alright." Keef said, as Gaz grabbed the remote, switching the channels.

"See? Is that anything to be laughing at!?" I barked. The terror was obvious, though the Zombies weren't the typical 'night-of-the-living-dead-esque- sort of things it was obvious who was and wasn't infected.

They'd been snow-pale, aside from their unusually dark bruises and veins which covered them, that and the blood shot eyes. 'typical' groaning and biting and what not.

"Not the usual zombie." Gaz said.

"Why would they still want to bite?" I asked.

"Maybe they ate some bath salts." Zim said, rather nonchalantly, we all laughed even though this was positively not the time.

"That's not funny Zimmy!" Keef whined.

Ugh. . . I want to punch this kid in the fucking face, just once. But Zim might end up hating me, wouldn't he? If anything I need to be friendly, or would that freak him out? Ugh too many variables. I'll just ignore him.

"It's obviously going to become more and more infectious as it mutates, but it doesn't seem to be airborne from my analysis. It's sort of like what you humans call an STD, just blood, spit and seminal fluid translations."

"Ewwie."

Yeah . . had to agree with Keef there, ewwie but I mean, who'd fuck a zombie?

Who am I kidding, I'm here trying to fuck an alien. I can't control it. . . I'll blame it on being a teenage boy. I have urges. . . of course.

"Yeah well, do you want the damn facts or not? Symptoms from my readings are the obvious ones that you can see from their appearances, blood shot eyes come from the veins that have ruptured, which also caused the blue and black marks all over and the lack of red blood cells and pigment to the rest of them causing the pale skin. The groaning is probably due to the pain."

"Aww, poor zombies."

Ugh, I wish Keef would get infected...Which is mean, I know but god he's irritating.  
"Hey Zimmy, are we going to get infected."

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" Gaz asked, sitting up.

"Well, I'll have to immunize you."

"How?"

"I dunno." He shrugged. Big fucking help.

"Then how do you plan on immunizing us?"

"Well. . . I suppose once we get to the Membrane home, Dib and I will have to stay up studying a bit."

"Studying?" Keef asked

"Yes, 'studying' not for a cure, but something that will lower the chances of infection." Zim said, "I'm sure with Dib's, Professor's, and my equiptment we'll find something. . . anything."

"Can you even be infected?" Gaz asked.

"Hn. . . No, but I detest human germs."

"Yet you covered yourself in meat?" I couldn't help but retort.

"That was one time." He sighed, crossing his arms, "Hey, it worked right?" We all went a bit silent, "Well. . . I was just a 'kid'." He said, eyes rolling a bit, or at least his contact lenses.

"Now shall we get going?" He asked, "Bring GIR."

I would assume no matter how irritating the robot grew, he'd have been lonely without it. Maybe it was a bit like Keef. Cept GIR was cute. . . Keef was well. Better looking than me, the more I thought about it the more self conscious I'd become, I mean puberty wasn't kind to someone who didn't eat his vegetables, am I right? Heh...No but seriously, Keef may have been an overly optimistic dork but he was athletic, I mean he wasn't rippling with muscles, he had more of a track running body, or a swimming team build. . .that's too specific. Either way he'd matured, though I suppose all the mental maturity went to his looks.

Well, at least I wasn't ginger, right? That's mean, but I honestly couldn't help it.

"What kinda studying are you two gonna do?" Keef asked, taking his spot behind Zim as I made my way to the back once again.

"Well, I'm taking blood samples from all of you, and a zombie."

We all had to pause a bit, Zim looked around.

"What?"

"What do you mean what you idiot you could infect us!" Gaz yelled. Zim shrugged starting the engine.  
"It's not an exact sample, your technology is primitive compared to mine."

"And?"

"And I have better means of research, it's not as if I plan on working night an day at it, with Dib's help I'm sure he and I will have some means of immunization by morning, I'll also be transporting a copy of my intelligence onto your psyche, Gaz because Zim and I will need to rest while you drive."

"Why me?"

"Keef will probably get distracted, he's yet to take his medication."

"Right." She sighed, "Fine fine."

Zim didn't have to drive for too long, I mean my house wasn't close but he knew the directions, maybe he'd just remembered them.

"Gaz, Keef go find sustenance, Dib lead me to the lab."

I nodded, hoisting the bags higher on my shoulders as I lead him towards my dad's lab, mine was okay, but as previously stated a few mental notes ago; it wasn't as kept up as it should've been. Teen depression isn't kind to motivation, now is it? Besides my dad's lab had a lot more stuff, though Zim had a lot too, I began to wonder how much of my and my father's equipment he needed.


	8. Cuts and Kisses

It'd already been 2 hours, Gaz was most likely asleep on the couch considering she'd finished her leftover pizza, and Keef was probably playing with GIR, he was directed by Zim to stay out of the way, and away from windows, while at the same time keeping some what of a look out for Gaz while she slept, I mean did you really think we'd get away with killing a government official and stealing a bus? Ha. Right.

The work Zim gave me seemed to be nothing but busy work, mixing and measurements while he typed away on his laptop like device, entering code after code, every so often a photo of Gaz, Keef, or Me would appear on the screen next to a bunch of information, which I could barely read. I mean I tried learning his language a few times, but it wasn't very easy. I could manage small things, it felt like my first semester of Spanish, freshman year. No bueno.

The screen continued to blare red every time he entered a new code. And every time a sigh escaped his lips, he leaned back, a bit stressed I mean it was only 6 but maybe he needed rest.

"You okay, Zim?"

"Yeah." I wish he'd be more open, but we just started talking, why would he be? I sat beside him.  
"What do you plan on doing when this is all over?" More questions that were obviously not my business.

"I have been contemplating suicide for quite some time."

"You say that so blatantly." I couldn't help commenting.

"Would you want to stay on a world that didn't knowledge your existence with no true hope for the future because your peers are as ignorant as those whom have raised them?"

"I know. . ."

"You do? I forget, you're different." Zim smirked a bit, "Have you thought of it?"

"Suicide?" He nodded, "Yeah, I'd attempted it . . ."

"Coward."

"Am not."

"Dib, you're a genius I'm sure you of all people could succeed at self-termination."

"Thanks?" Another smirk. "So. . . what do you think would happen?"

"After death?"

"Mhm."

"Well, I don't know." He sighed, "My people didn't have religion like yours do, death is death, we're all atheists. We don't rely on a god to save us. We damn ourselves. What about you?"

"I want to say there's a heaven, a nice place for my mother to watch over me and Gaz from, but the science within me states there's no such thing."

"You may believe in science and religion you know," He smiled.

"Do you?"

"Hell no." We both laughed a bit. "So Dib, what are the human concepts of sexuality? You seem to be very hostile towards your's."

"I'm not hostile."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Kiss me."

"No."

"No?" He asked, the smirk growing.

"No."

"But Dib, likes me. Doesn't he? That's why he envies every one so much, because they all seem so much closer, when in all actuality, we're the only two I'd guess in the whole fucking world who can see the truth, where as every one else seems to be so incredibly stupid they seem hypnotized, utterly brainwashed to were they cold be caught drooling on themselves on occasion, to where they can't fathom the concept of chewing with their mouth closed, little things that makes them no different from the zombies they're becoming, so I'll ask again, why are you so hostile towards your sexuality?"

Fuck. I could feel my face burn more with every word, I parted my lips to speak.

"If I hate myself, why should I love my sexuality? If I'm not proud of my best asset, my intelligence why should I be proud of who I want to fuck? If I can't accept what I've become why would I want to add more fuel to the fire? Homosexuality is already frowned upon."

"Just like being different, and just like being smart, yet you continue to do both."

"You don't fucking get it." I sighed, turning a bit so I wouldn't have to face that snark expression.

"Oh, so a moment ago I understood everything about you and now I know nothing?"

I'm getting so sick of him. . . why? Because he's right?

"Tell me more about the hating yourself part. Is that why you cut?"

"What?" I've always worn trench coats and long sleeves, I don't see how he'd make such an assumption.

Alien's intuition?

"You winced."

"What?"

"When I grabbed you."

Thinking back I could recall him Wince as well.

"You winced when Keef grabbed you." I retorted, I thought I'd had the upper hand until his retort.

"Yes, I do cut, and I don't deny it, just like I don't deny my homosexuality."

Fuck.

"So Dib, why do you do it? I mea I've studied it, some people do it for the rush, some do it because they're 'numb' or want to feel 'something'. I think that's a load of bull shit, or at least in your case, you do it because you've been treated as an outcast your whole life, your sister is a cunt, your father never acknowledged your intelligence and you're struggling with your sexuality, therefor you feel like you're nothing. You feel like you deserve the pain."

"Just shut up! What justifies your cutting!?" He'd already dug so deep into my psyche and I was beginning to loose it.

"Because . . . I'm the same." He smiled, though his eyes weren't smiling, there was a sort of sickness.  
He'd finally calmed down but. . .

"Zim. . ." I tried consoling him, but he'd been the first to stand, his lips pressed to mine again, this had been the second time but it didn't change the fact it was sincerely surprising. I couldn't tell if it had been his disguise that made him feel this way, his lips were moist and a bit human like, his tongue was of course rather long, I doubt people would pay attention to it so he probably didn't bother disguising it I mean why on earth would you disguise a . . .

T..tongue.

His tongue was . . . in my mouth, right against mine, I guess I'd still been tensed, because he grabbed my waist, I suppose he was trying to. . . calm me. Fuck fuck fuck. My second kiss-well my fist with tongue..Why did they both have to be with him!?

"Zim. . ." I panted a bit as he pulled away, his expression was a bit frightening, eyes lidded, lips parted of course it shouldn't have been but it'd frightened me. Was it lust? Did aliens lust?

"Yes we do."

"Wh...what?"

"Yes, aliens lust." Oh fuck if he could read my mind I'm killing myself, right fucking now.

"How did you know that!?"

"Shh." He smirked, his arm snaking around my side, "You got that confused look on your face that you always make when thinking about me or my species."

My face burned a bit, was it always that obvious?

"We should get back to work." I sighed, wiping my mouth. I mean he didn't taste bad, just like a mouth a guess, kind of bitter sweet like a tart strawberry or a cranberry. Not exactly fruity but you get it.

Zim nodded, a cocky grin on his face. We finally get to have a deep conversation and he knocks the intellect out of me with a kiss.


	9. Cures and Conversations

"There!"

My head rung a bit as I sat up. Did I fucking fall asleep? I hope I was dreaming about that kiss.

"Dib, you fell asleep. But look."

As he typed in several codes our pictures showed up, one after another but instead of the red and maroon writings, green lit up under each of our pictures.

"Now put your arm out." He said, as he extracted a vile from a machine.

"Wait why?"

"So I can immunize you." He rolled his eyes, the needle was rather thick, I mean for a needle. But I couldn't look like a complete pussy right now. I nodded and reached my arm out.

"Lift your sleeve."

"Lift yours"

"What?" He asked.

"The cuts. . . I'm self conscious okay?" he rolled his eyes, lifting his sleeve. It'd been about as bad as mine, though you couldn't see them too badly from under his 'facade'. His blood wasn't red, that's for sure, it wasn't green or anything weird, just darker, a bit purplish.

"Now lift your damn sleeve." I nodded, attempting to push the leather of the coat up I found it easier to just take the jacket off, and push the blue sleeve of my under shirt up.

He took a moment to look over the red marks which ran across my wrists and ran up my fore arms, I mean I didn't restrict to my arms but it was obvious the work was a bit more present here. He sighed a bit, some had had pink around them.

"Recent. . ." He ran a finger over one, it stung a bit. His eyes averted to an old scar which was only visible by a lighter shades of skin and scarring.

"These ones were deep. . . were they from your attempt?" He's so damn curt.

"Yeah." I sighed, he ran his fingers over the spot, a bit melancholic. He lifted the needle, pressing it into a vein and injecting.

"Side effects may include drowsiness, fever, and blurred vision within the first 4 hours. Though it's not 100% they'll occur, we're not taking the chances of letting Keef and Gaz be on look out tomorrow while we sleep in the bus."

I nodded a bit, it wasn't that bad.

I grabbed my jacket, but he stopped me. Why did he have to keep doing this?

"Listen. . . Zim, I like you but. . . you should really go take this sexual frustration out on Keef, you shouldn't cheat on him."

"Cheat?"

"Like. . . adultery for people who aren't eloped."

"Ahh, well he and I aren't together."

"What do you mean?"

Was it normal for me to feel scared right now? Because I could feel my gut and chest tighten as he stepped closer.

"We're not together, I mean we've done things."

"As in?!"

"Whoa, so jealous. None of which concerns you."

I couldn't help the urge to strike him across his face, though he caught my hand right after the stinging slap.

"So violent."

"Stop it Zim!"

"You like me, why do you keep denying it?"

Why was I denying it? Fuck I'm stupid.

"Well, give me one good reason and I'll stop."

He's not cheating on Keef, so that's one, I like him, fuck I think I might be falling in love with him after those previous conversations, we're so alike. . . just like he said we're two of a kind. Why was I still fighting? This is wrong, but who's to say what's right? This isn't the time but right now is as safe as it's going to be fore quite some time.

"Give in." He whispered in my ear. I'm so close to actually letting him. . . letting him what? What the hell is he planning?

Give in? Give into what? My feelings? Sex? Maybe he just wants to kiss? No of course not, he said it himself he was lusting.

Do aliens even have dicks?

I'm kind of curious now I mean his anatomy is similar to that of a humans in many. . many ways. I think he has a belly button too-

"Well?" He smirked. I nodded, I couldn't make out words, I'd just choke, My heart began to race as my stomach knotted. What were we about to fucking do?

He wrapped his arms around me, reassuring me and for a moment he didn't seem so cold, he didn't seem so broken either perhaps he just meant give into my emotions? He grabbed my scarred wrist and tugged me up the steps, finger over his lips he signaled for me to hush. He glanced around the corner to see that Keef had fallen asleep on the floor and Gaz was passed out on the couch, great fucking look out. He smiled though.

"Where's your room?"

"D..down the hall. . .The blue door." He pulled me with him again, pushing me into the dark room, shutting the door quietly.

"Shh." He whispered as he turned on the lamp beside my bed.

"S..so." I smiled awkwardly. What the hell was I supposed to do if I didn't know what we were doing in the first place? He sat on the bed, nodding to his side signaling for me to come and sit.

"Zim when you said 'give in' what exactly did you-" The bittersweet taste met my lips again as he pulled me on top of him, his lips against mine. My face began to burn, I'm a complete slut aren't I? We haven't talked in how long and I'm already cock-to-cock through the fucking skinny-jeans with his tongue in my mouth. I just need to relax, this whole time I've thought too much and perhaps know is the time to stop thinking...Fuck his hands are cold. Wait his gloves are-I can't tell, they're just creeping up my back in soft traces, they tickle a bit but I'm no where near laughing, rather I'm whimpering, and squirming. I must look like a complete virgin...maybe because I am I mean I'm 18 it's not normal in this day and age but I could still pretend to be proud of it, right? Wrong, but what's so great about loosing your virginity anyways? Why is everyone so hung up on it-

Oh...maybe that's why.

My heart was pounding in my chest and Zim's constant groping didn't help, but I'm positive I know why every one is so hung up on getting laid. Fuck.

"Fuck.." I couldn't help but say that one out loud, his knee was just between thighs, brushing up against me teasingly. Fuck this fucking foreplay, 'I want my first time to be special' bull shit, I wanted him now.

I began to tug off my shirt as I sat up on his waist, he grimaced a bit at the cuts that were on my abdomen, but he'd been no different himself. He tugged off his sweat shirt. His anatomy had intrigued me. I mean I've seen his elders, they were much taller, but he'd still grown a bit. Perhaps it was the human atmosphere or his disguise that made his body so. . . interesting. He'd had a skinny frame, but his unusual bone structure made his 'ribs' less adamant, as if instead of bones he'd had large discs of some sort in a similar shape. He'd been unusually lanky, his abdomen was rather long, just as his legs were, where as I was similar in shape, except I was a bit more leg than him.

He kind of had nipples, they were more like marks-

Okay. Why did he have a belly button?

I didn't mind, I still traced my fingers down his chest, and abdomen. He did have hip-bone like things that stuck out a bit more, they seemed sharper than human ones, or at least a bit more triangular.

His disguise left his skin a bit humanish though it was a sickly pale and a bit green as expected.

"Still gawking, dib-worm?" He smirked, which killed my confidence. . . He let out a breathy chuckle and sat up, pushing me down onto the bed so he could examine me as well.

"Let's play abduction."

"What you're going to probe me?" I scoffed rolling my eyes.

"No, I'm going to cut you up, and then probe you."

Fuck.


	10. Probed

His smirk grew as did the fear in my eyes, why did I have to make such a stupid comment? Of course I had to try and better him at something, but I was just kidding!

"Now that you're done with your gay little, 'area fifty-one feel up' I can play the part of the evil alien who's going to dissect you."

Considering my childhood trauma and homosexual masochism this is either a horrible trigger or a sick turn on.  
He looked around on my dresser for something, reaching for and old tie he wrapped it tightly around my mouth.

"Shh~" He smirked as he removed his gloves. His hands, like most of his body, seemed to be hybrid between human and alien-like. His fingers were long, and of course a bit bony, though he had 'nails' they seemed thin and would seem hardly noticeable if they weren't painted black.

And. . . they were much colder under the gloves, I couldn't help but visibly shiver and he ran three icy digits down my cheek, he must have found it hilarious since his smirk only grew. He brushed my bangs from my glasses, I relaxed a bit as he got up, looking around until he found old scarves, then I tensed predicting what he'd probably do.

He lifted my hands, tying them together against the head board, I didn't fight it considering he'd probably tie up my legs as well. I tried breathing but the gag wasn't very helpful. He looked around, smirking a bit as he lifted the small black box, shaking it above his head, he probably heard better considering his antennae were under the hair. He and I both knew what was inside.

He emptied the box onto my stomach, and three cold razors fell onto the my abdomen. One had some dried blood on it.

"Tsk tsk, this equipment will never do." He sighed, tossing the it back into the box, inspecting the other, "So dull."

He tossed the other in, picking up the newer one, which he ran along his finger tip, causing the purplish liquid to drip from it, it'd been a bit thicker than blood, but not slimy thick, I mean it obviously didn't clot well.  
He ran the blade along my arm, though I could hardly feel it due to how sharp it was and how shallow the wounds were, he and I both saw small beads of blood.

"So easily injured." He sighed, "Can't be much fun." He shook his head, pressing the blade to my cheek, it dug in but I stood still, what was I to do? Nod? Shake? Neither? Both? I looked up into his eyes, he was having way too much fun with this, and. . . I was enjoying it? Fuck I'm sick. Maybe he was right about what he said earlier, maybe I think I deserve the pain.

"Time's up." He slit my fucking cheek! I winced and cringed, only for him to hold my other cheek while his tongue snaked past his lips, licking at the crimson.

"Aliens aren't man eating. . . but this is honestly my favorite part of the human."

While he lapped at my blood, the razor slid down my abdomen, leaving a long scar down down the center. I whimpered a bit, fuck I'm so sick why am I enjoying this? Maybe it was a little due to the fact his knee pressed against my arousal, kneading and grinding into it, I moaned a bit, my head tilting back as he lifted the razor to my neck, slitting a bit.

"Not too deep, I don't want to kill you. . . yet."

Fuck I hope he's joking. I couldn't help but spread my legs further as his his other hand gripped me through my jeans and my neck of course being tilted as is aloud his mouth to do as it pleased, biting and sucking, kissing every so often. He'd finally removed the tie from my mouth, only to silence me again with his own, I wanted. . . needed to grip something, my palms were probably bleeding by now. It felt like forever by the time he untied me. Once he did my arms wrapped around him tightly.

"Zim please. . ."

He'd been panting a bit too. He slid down my jeans and my arousal was obvious from my loose boxers, he leaned down and began sucking through the cloth.

"Fuck!" I moaned, my back was already arching. I don't know if he truly understands what a virgin is if he's doing all this, I'm almost ready to come as it is, I don't think I can take very much more. . . Was he more experienced?

He pulled away.

"You need to practice edging, you're already dripping." He sighed, tugging down his pants. He'd appeared to be aroused. I couldn't help but stare. "Don't worry, I don't have a tentacle or something weird from your fucked up porn collection." He rolled his eyes, did he get that a lot or did he just assume I had a lot of tentacle porn-

Holy shit.

I bit my lip as he tugged down his boxers, he indeed had a dick. . .a very-

"Suck."

"What?" I choked a bit, did he expect me to give him head? I mean. . . I'm barely able to register anything.

"Suck or I'm going in dry."

How the hell does he know these things!? I sighed, parting my lips as he pressed it in. His seminal fluids weren't as sticky as humans just a lot thicker maybe a little slimy and hotter than what his blood was, that's for sure. It also wasn't as salty-I mean. . . It's not as if I've tasted a lot of cum but still. It wasn't sweet either, and no not like his bittersweet lips.

It wasn't spicy. That'd burn like a bitch.

It wasn't exactly sour, nor salty. Nor was it bitter to the point of making my cringe, it had a taste but not a terrible, nor 'delicious' one.

It was rather. . . intoxicating. I couldn't help but want more, I began sucking harder, perhaps it was the curious taste that kept me guessing or just the fact that I'd become more relaxed, and didn't feel like I was about to cum.

He pulled it out and I began to pant a bit, it wasn't very milky either, it'd been a lot more clear than cum, I mean pre-cum is pretty clear as well but. . . maybe it was just my saliva.

"Zim. . ." I didn't know what to say, I'd been scared, it was just sex. . . as much as I tell myself that I keep seeing it as something else, I mean why am I making a big deal out of it? It's just my fucking virginity. . .  
But. . . I'm giving my first time to Zim of all people.

Fuck. My life is disgusting irony.

He pushed my legs up, I could feel my stomach knot, and it was no longer in arousal, I'd been sincerely scared. Why couldn't we just stick with blow jobs? I mean yeah it's pretty intense but at least he's not-Fuck!. . .p..penetrating me.

"A-ah!"

"Shh.." He alway seemed to hush me . . . he shoved in deeper. It hurt, it hurt really fucking bad. I bit into my lip, I couldn't fucking take it.

"Z..zim take it out it hurts!" My eyes watered a bit. He wasn't super thick, but hey. . . I was still a virgin after all.

"No. . ." He gripped my hands, pulling them up so they'd be on his back. . . Oh.

He pulled out a bit, pressing back in, it hurt, it hurt really fucking bad, but. . . I gripped onto him, my nails digging in a bit, I didn't want to hurt him but he smiled when I did it. I gripped again, my nails digging in deeper , I began to focus on it distracted me for a bit.

"Z-Zim!" I couldn't help but moan out his name over and over, every time he thrust in, hitting my prostate every so often, though he didn't focus on the spot, he was more focused on how hard and fast he could go considering he'd been slamming in rather roughly.

"Fuck!" I began to love every thrust, to the point of me wrapping my legs around him, which of course limited how far out he could pull out with every thrust, but it was still amazing, I felt like I could do it all night, until he'd gripped me, jerking with every thrust which pretty much sent me over the edge.

"Zim I'm gonna!" My legs tightened around him as I came. But he wouldn't stop, by the time I finally caught some of my breath he'd pulled out.

"N..no go ahead and cum inside.."

It was too late now, he'd finished on my stomach...his seminal fluid was still very clear.

I can't believe we just. . . fucked.

Fuck.

He lied down beside me, sighing a bit as he tugged the blanket over us.

It was rather surprising to feel his affection, he held me close. My eyes closed and I felt warm. . .


	11. Another Visitor

I could hear my alarm pound as I reached around to press snooze, then wrapped my arms back around Zim, snuggling into his chest taking in his scent and warmth, our naked legs were comfortably tangled in the warm blankets and wait. . . around-

"Zim!?"

He cringed and groaned a bit sitting up. Damn. I really should have just been quiet.

"Good morning, Dib." He sighed, yawning and stretching. I tried to sit up but winced at the pain in my lower back and . . . pelvic area-Ass. My ass was killing me. "What?"

I shook my head. Was I drunk? We. . . we fucked!?

"Hn, why does your alarm go off at four in the morning?" He growled, pullingthe blanket over his head, it wasn't very bright but he'd been easily irritated, I wonder if aliens got cranky.

"We're not leaving until well past noon."

"Shouldn't we get an early start, I mean if there's any time to do it we should move before daylight-" I tried covering myself with the blanket, but he'd just covered himself, it was rather cold.

"Shh. . . time doesn't matter, we're superior, but not if I'm half asleep."

"Drink coffee?"

"Caffeine doesn't work on me, I'd need several pots of that crap." He groaned, "Now shut the hell up and keep me warm." He smiled a bit.

He wrapped an arm around me as my head rested on his chest. . . this felt good I mean. . I prefer getting up early and going to bed earlier but this was. . nice.

My eyes shut again, but I could feel him wrap his arms around me again. I think I . . . loved this.

Though opening my eyes a second time made me feel a tad groggy, now I remember why I never slept in. Zim was still sound asleep, I lied back on his chest relaxing a bit.

My eyes closed but I didn't sleep, though it'd been too good to be true. . .

"Zim are you in here?" Keef asked, knocking twice before opening the door.

"D-Don't come in!" I tried to stop him, didn't I? Keef stood at the door, wide eyed as Zim at up, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Keef get out." He ordered as he stretched a bit, stepping out of bed, sliding on his boxers.

"Y..yes Zim." He said, turning and slamming the door. But of course Gaz had to run in.

"No fucking way-Oh gay!" She yelled.

"Says you bull-dyke!" I yelled out, I mean she wasn't a dyke but still. . . I had no retort. "Ugh get out!" I yelled, throwing a pillow at her. Zim ignored the both of us as he tugged up his jeans, he shook his head a bit.

"This is going to be stressful as hell." He yawned, pulling his sweatshirt on. He glanced over at the clock, 11:36.

"You stupid humans woke me before noon?"

"Don't you wake up before noon for school?"

He shook his head, "Not all the time."

I forget, he's naturally this intelligent, why would he need to go to school?

"We're leaving at twelve so. . . get up." He yawned, "Take some pain killers or something."

"Gee thanks."

Gaz made some rather immature gestures as she followed Zim out the door. I fell back onto the bed, "Kill me now. . ."

I felt around for my boxers, standing up. I was sore as hell but I'd have to get over it. . . I rummaged through my closet, black jeans, black and blue shirts. . . nothing too bright as usual.

And of course, a leather jacket. I began to pack my suit case, who knows when or if we're ever coming back.  
If we never come back I may as well just. . smash a fucking mirror. That felt good.

Another knock on the door.

"What!?" I barked.

"Jeez Dib-worm calm the fuck down." It was just Gaz. . . though of all the people in the house I suppose I'd have preferred her . . . I think. Or at least I hated her least right now. . . I mean I don't hate Zim.

"There's a bit of a situation outside."

"What could it possibly be now!?"

"Fuck bro, chill. . . Just come on."

I sighed, zipping the jacket up, following behind. What now? What of all things could make today worse?  
I winced a bit was the light of the house stung my eyes, as I felt down the hall I could see her in the door way.

"Hello Dib."

"T..Tak?"


	12. I Hate Everyone

Of course now we'd experience the pleasure of a dues ex machina-esque visitor. I mean we don't have our solution yet but...let's see how this plays out?

"What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but ask in a pretty hurt tone. I mean, yeah she was nice to me last time she was here when I was in primary but she left. I know I shouldn't blame her but there's got to be some remorse there. Though I'm probably just being emotional, I mean in all the years I heard some bad things about her so, I guess I developed a sort of . . . image?

"I'm here to retrieve my ship, you idiot." Yeah. I already hate her.

"Well you're a bit late; I disabled it piece by piece and got rid of it. Of course after you left the government became a bit suspicious of a giant alien ship in my garage." She rolled her eyes at me. Tak giggled.

Tak giggled? Gross.

"Looks like you're going to have to go." I sighed, "Besides, we're in a bit of a pandemic if you hadn't noticed."

"Your people always look like that." True. True. Mindless, pale, drooling, chewing with their mouth open. Only difference now is that they're eating others.

"Regardless, it's deadly."

"Is it to irken?"

"I don't know."

"Test it on the loud one."

"Zim? Hell no." This bitch. "Why don't you just go back to the irken to get praised if  
you're 'oh-so-superior'."

"Because she's not." Zim smirked, coming out of the bathroom, his hair in place and face washed, "She was sent to earth just like me."

"I had a realistic disguise and better means."

"So? This place is exile. Tell me something, why are you back for your ship? How did you get here?" She'd remained silent, "I'm guessing there's an abandoned pod within the vicinity. They sent you back. How sad." He feigned a sorrowful look before walking into the kitchen where Keef had been.

Albeit I was curious as to what they were talking about, but Keef was probably pissed. I mean I fucked Zim...Maybe it was the immunization I'd gotten. No. . . it was my fault, I mean I used to hate him but hey, the oxy has to wear off sometime am I right.  
I couldn't help but glance over at Tak, she'd held her head up but her eyes stared at the floor, I assume Zim was right then. . . what a pity. When Zim's right, something is obviously wrong. I mean, I want to console her, she was sort of. . . in a way a friend when we were younger, but like I said, shit was said and even if it wasn't true I couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable around her, and with how my day has been going this wasn't a good time. I suppose. . . as horrid as the idea might seem, perhaps sending the biggest bitch of them all to help our new "Guest" was probably the best thing to do. I mean, I obviously couldn't ask Keef to cheer her up, he was either pissed as hell, crying his eyes out, or oddly enough 'okay' in which his typical 'okay' would irritate the hell out of the poor girl.

"Psst."

"What?"

"Go. . . talk to Tak."

"Why?"

"Because look at her. . ."

We both glanced over, she wasn't in the doorway anymore but she sat in the yard, leaned against a tree, one hand on her knee the other petting at the cat-like robot, I think her name was, "Mimi" or something. . .but anyways, she looked rather sad. I suppose the irken pet noticed the pain and tried to console her, sort of how a cat would, it rubbed it's head against the purple haired irken. Gaz sighed a bit, standing and walking out, I peeked from through the window and saw her sit with the other. I assumed they'd be out for a while.

I wondered if it was okay to check on the other two, I mean I could at least apologize to Keef. . . I obviously don't expect him to accept it but at least it won't be as awkward. Because I now for a face, it's going to be awkward as hell in that fucking bus for god knows how long.

I stretched a bit, and flinched at how every joint popped before making my way to the kitchen where the two had gone, probably to talk it out.

"Zim..."

Oh fuck. . . I peeked through the door, and felt a lump build in my throat as tears welled in my eyes. There they were, of course. . . Keef's hand tangled in Zim's hair as his legs wrapped around the irken. My heart ached a bit, I mean it's not like they were fucking but there he was, sucking at that disgusting freckled neck and I wanted to vomit.

I tried looking away before a sob could escape but Keef glanced over-Shit!-

Wait. . . he knew I was there. . . and he smirked at me as he pulled zim closer to his neck.

"I love you, Zimmy. . ."

His smirk just grew as the other's voice groaned, "I love you too, Keef."

Fuck. . .Fuck fuck fuck! I darted down the hall and slammed my door. I wanted to vomit, I was in so much pain. I buried my face in my sheets and tried not to scream as I sobbed into them, tears literally soaking the fabric.

Of course he loved him, he was always fucking there for him, always. Why should I be surprised? Why should I think I'm special I mean I've tried experimenting on him and exposing him and he hated my guts and this was some sort of sick pay back.

This. . . is my own fault, I had to fall for him- I had to give him my virginity when I knew damn well he didn't care for me at all, I mean-

I don't even know what I mean. . . I'm honestly baffled, I'm going through hating him, and keef, and myself so much. . . I-

I. . .

I hate them all.

They're all idiots and I won't be the one to let them bring me down. . . if anything when this is all over, my sister will go back to her old ways, Keef will be thrown into a mental house, and I'll expose Tak and Zim for all I care. . .

Who needs friends? Who needs love? Who needs anything. . . I had friends before.

I lifted the razor which sat on the dresser. . .the one zim used last night.

These were and I suppose; always will be my best friend. . .

I rolled up my sleeve dragging it across. . that felt so much better-And then I remember what he told me. . . I'm only doing this because I feel like I deserve it. . . and just like that the tears welled back in my eyes as I recalled everything he'd said about it all. And just as I tried not to, I believed he was different. . . I shouldn't but I still do.

"Dib-Human, the bus is going to leave without you-" Of course they'd send Zim, but honestly, it could be any of those assholes. I wiped my eyes and shoved the razor into my jacket's pocket, opening the door.

"Whoa you okay-"

"Fine. Now move."

"What's got your panties in such a bunch-" I threw a fist at him. . fuck that hurt.

"Don't talk to me."

Why would I do that? He just rubbed his jaw, it's not like I sent him flying.

"Charming."

I grabbed my bag off the table and walked out, it'd been just as cloudy as yesterday. Keef was already in the front seat behind Gaz, while Tak and her talked. They'd gotten along rather quick.

I made my way to the back of the bus and rested my head on the window.

This was going to be a long. . . long apocalypse.

"So I suppose she's coming with us?" Zim frowned as he sat next to Keef.

"This place needed some more invaders anyways." They smirked at each other as the other two laughed. Oh ha ha.

It wasn't even that funny. . . . I suppose now I'm just a fifth wheel.

Keef glanced back to smile at me before waving. . .

A really long apocalypse indeed.


	13. Fight!

"The wheels on the bus go round and round~!"

"Keef."

"Yes, Zimmy?"

"Shut the hell up."

For hours on end this was all I heard, every one laughing and giggling and I was all alone. As always. Another ping of pain ached in my chest, I suppose it's time to write again.

Log 4. . .Maybe 5? I don't know.

Date: October Thirty-First (Happy Halloween?) 1:15 P.M

I've come to realize everything high school was suppose to teach in a span of a little less than 24 hours. Heartbreak, betrayal.

The whole fucking fiasco.

1) I'm always going to be alone, I mean I could try to go an be social but what's the point? Every one has someone and I of course have no one, though why should this have any difference compared to Skool, Mid-Skool, or the first few years of Hi-Skool.

2) Don't get your hopes up because honestly, this is becoming a bad Taylor Swift song, and I'm not even getting the guy, but I think I know why; he doesn't belong with me. The other guy is cuter, and a bit more sane though I'm starting to doubt that due to his recent . . . behavior. I mean have you seen him? Is any one else seeing past his fucking games? This is bullshit

.  
3) Guys do only want one thing I mean really, I never thought that was true. . . god I sound gay. It's not like I loved him or anything, I mean on occasion I wished he'd noticed me but I didn't love him. . . Why would I give someone I didn't love my first time.

I suppose I need to go back how I was, when I originally started writing in this. . . journal.  
And I'd-

"Whatcha writing, Dibby?"

"Go away."

"Aww, is it personal?" He pouted.

"Yes. Go away-Asshole!" He took my fucking journal. This asshole took my journal!

"Give it back you fucking prick!" He started reading it. "GIVE IT BACK!"

"SIT STILL BACK THERE!" Yelled Zim and Tak. Fucking irken scum. . .

The three talked in the front and Keef tossed it back at me. What a douchebag. . .a fucking douchebag.

"Y'know you're right."

"What?-Go sit with your boyfriend or something." He smirked at me as I said it.

"You shouldn't get your hopes up."

"I know." Why was I talking to him.

Zim glanced back every so often, he looked sort of uncomfortable.

"Tell me Dibby?"

"What?"

"Did Zim whisper he 'loves' you in his ear? I bet not, it was probably just lust anyways. Poor Dibby. . . Don't get your hopes up to much okay? I mean he and I are in love but you. . . " He sighed, "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"If he loves you so much why was he balls deep in me last night, Keef?"

"Because you're so fucking desperate."

I began to wonder if this was the same Keef who'd called Gir a puppy yesterday.

"Whatever. Fuck off, ginger."

"Oh, I will." He smiled, "But really, don't get your hopes up, I'd hate to have a repeat of the tenth grade."

You know those awkward moments where everything gets silent right as you say something really . . . bad.

Well that just happened to Keef over here.

"Holy shit, what'd he say?" Gaz asked.

"'I'd hate to have a repeat of tenth grade'" Repeated Zim, his eyes a bit wide as he looked around.

"What happened in tenth grade...?" Tak asked quietly, I could hear all of them; they weren't smooth.

"I tried to off myself." And don't worry Keef, that's not going to happen. . . Because I'm going to fucking off you!" I couldn't help but attack him as I threw my fists at him. Fuck that felt fucking good, until of course I realized he was bigger than me.

I shoved the emergency exit of the back of the bus open and pulled Keef onto the street as my hands gripped his disgustingly orange curly hair, I guess I'd attempted to pull it out but he laughed and threw his fist against my stomach, I hadn't eaten anything but I needed to vomit, especially when he shoved his knee into my abdomen.

I threw my fist at his neck, but that only stopped him for a while, I glanced up to see Zim standing beside the bus with his arms crossed, and Gaz and Tak staring in aw.

"If you loose to a ginger I'm disowning you!"

Well. . . I didn't care about that but this was the first time I was ever sorta cheered on in a fight. I reached down and tossed gravel in his face. Albeit that was a dirty trick but so was he.

This went on for about 20 minutes, I think I put up a pretty good fight considering I was so scrawny, the left lense in my glasses were cracked but I had another pair in my bag, my lip was split and I kept spitting out blood. Keef acted like he was barely scratched but scratches covered the majority of his arms and face. We both had a black eye, but mine was much darker.

I stood up brushing myself off, wiping my eyes. All I needed was one more kick to Keef's stomache-There.

I hope he starts crying.

Everything ache and stung, and of course, Zim helped Keef off and every one was back in place 10 minutes later. . . I tore up that last page of my journal, I'll just keep my thoughts to myself from now on. . .

I wanted to be alone so I could cry, every so often I'd glance up to see Keef pointing to a mark and Zim kissing it better, then spraying it with anti-biotics and wrapping it. . . I just bled over here. Alone.  
I looked aside and closed my eyes, I wanted to sleep but I was shaken.

"Sup' Tak."

She held up the first aid kit...I didn't want to be friends with her or any one but I appreciated the gesture. She fixed me up then rested a hand on my shoulder before walking off.

Maybe I was alone, maybe I wasn't.

I don't know what else to do. . . I'm tired of this, I mean I hated life before but was this any better?

Did I miss the old life?

I don't really know. . .

I don't really care right now.

I just want to sleep.


	14. Memories and Contemplation

I can't believe what everything has become, it's just so fucking pitiful. I'm back to square one of my depression and I'm another glare away from loosing my mind. . . I mean for good. It's already lost in some aspects.  
I just lay here, at the back of the bus with a heart full of a worse ache than the rest of my body from getting my ass kicked and the bottles of pills in my bag are the only thing that I feel would help me at this point.

All of them. At once.

Wouldn't it be nice? I mean honestly, what have I got going for me. . . I'm such a pathetic fuck, I really am. Just take my life apart like a puzzle and inspect each jaggedly cut piece, you might even pity me, but hey, what's your pity going to do? Heal these wounds, make my sister love me again- though that was so far back I can't recall much of it-, give me some sanity, or make the man. . . alien I love, love me back instead of some air-headed ginger fuck?

I don't think so.

I never realized how lonely being alone was until recently, I've always been alone but right now is the absolute worst.

And I'm doing it to myself so why should I complain?

Of course I'll get shit for complaining, I mean I'm the one who came back here I should be fucking social, huh? I'm wrong here.

Everyone can step on me, because I'm just Dib.

I'm not a cool bitch like Gaz.

I'm not a hot twat like Keef.

And I'm definitely not an irken genius like Tak or Zim.

I'm a depressing fuck and. .-

I. . . Shit, I'm crying. Though looking around the rest of the bus, no one is paying attention to me anyways, I'm sure no one could care either. The tears began to drip past my cheeks and my lips pursed with a certain tightness that begged my tight throat not to let any sobs escape, I felt chills that painted goose pimples up my arms and I wanted to dearly to be held.

But by who?

Obviously not Keef, that's for sure.

Nor Tak.

Nor Gaz.

Zim? No. I said I didn't want pity, especially from him. Just thinking of him holding me makes me so ill inside, and why? Because he's say something like he said the other night, all that bullshit about sympathizing with me when really it was all a fucking lie.

The more I dwell the more I recall. "Because I'm the same.."? Really, he has no idea what kind of pain I'm going through, he has someone to go to for his aches, who do I have? A sister whom begrudgingly acknowledges my existence? A father who doesn't pay attention to me?  
A mother.

Heh...I wonder what she'd think of me now. Her little boys really amounted to great things, I'm a faggot, I get my ass kicked since this really isn't the first time, dad hates me, Gaz hates me too. . . I'm not popular, and as of recent I don't think I'm very handsome either.

I wish I had her, I mean yeah she died before I could develop any real memories of her but I still wonder what it'd be like to have a normal family.

A mother who'd kiss the pain away, and a father who lifted me when I was down.

A sister who loved me. . .

Or at least a supportive family, maybe a dad who would have visited me in the hospital when I felt as shitty as this and decided that maybe, just maybe there might be a heaven with mom waiting for me.

Yeah, he didn't visit. No one did, I don't even have friends to visit me, and my sister? Ha...fat fucking chance. I mean. . . he called once but he didn't say much.

That was the worst time of my life, right next to now I mean. . . It's the worst feeling to open your eyes and the first thoughts start racing through your head, I mean you think it's a dream for a sec then back up a bit and kind of break to see stitched up and down your wrists.

You failed.

I failed. . .

I can't even off myself right. I'm such a disappointment.

And then I think of what a normal life would be like, maybe having a girlfriend to make society proud too.  
I pulled off my glasses and placed them in my bag just to drag my sleeve across my eyes. Every sob made my body shake with the bumps that the bus ran over. I bit my lip, wrapping my arms around myself thinking more and more.

I hold myself, my sobs, my memories and pain all in once...I'm surprised how strong my arms can be.  
But they're just as cold as the rest of my body.

I'm still cold, and this ache makes me want to vomit.

Why can't I be normal?

Fuck I hate life. . . I wish I had Zim to sympathize with but he probably lied about that too. I sure hope he's fucking proud of himself. I mean honestly, how is he the same as me? We're nothing alike and I'm an idiot for believing the bull shit his disgusting irken mouth spewed.

. . . I can't believe I'd been played by this asshole. If we ever get out of this, I swear to break everything I've stood for against my supernatural studies if only to expose him and get him torn apart and tortured in some lab for breaking my heart!

Breaking my. . .

Heart?

I . . . don't know what I meant by that. . .

I really need to stop thinking, and I can't help but glance down at the medications in my bag and wonder if it'd be worth it.

I think so. . . it'd be bliss.

I want to go so badly. . . I'm an atheist. I think, but maybe there is a heaven, where mom is.  
Maybe she's been watching over me. . .

Though that's a kids kind of dream isn't it? I glanced over the seat, only to see everyone continuing the drive happily.

And I'm no major aspect of this operation, I should just fucking die.

I. . . grabbed the pills and opened the bottle.

"Oxycontin"

The tears flooded more and my shaky hand gripped the lid, popping it open and holding it to my lips.

I gulped a bit. . . letting one pill fall into my mouth.

Then the thoughts overwhelmed me and I felt cold again, I want to fucking die! Why can't I swallow the damn pills.

I forced them into my mouth, and still no one noticed.

But. . . I spit them back into the bottle, the taste of the laced powder sticking to my tongue.

I feel so sick, sick of myself, sick of life, sick of it all.

I bottled the pills back up and reached under the seat to grab a blanket, I wrapped it around myself.

I don't even have myself anymore. . . How pitiful.

I'll just go back to sleep.


	15. The Men in Black

My eyes cracked open a bit to the stinging light, I wonder how long I'd been out, I turned over to try and fall asleep again then realized why I'd woken to begin with. Zim shaking at my shoulder.

"Dib..DIB!"

"Huh what?"

I sat up, yawning and stretching a bit, crying yourself to sleep can work wonders with your rest, you feel rather refreshed, though after all that thinking I've developed some newfound animosity towards the irken male.

"Don't look now but-"

"I have to look."

"Whatever, those cars. . ." He said, nodding his head to the window which was placed on the emergency exit sign right next to me.

"Uh-huh..?" What about them, idiot. "What about them?"

"They've been following us for about a half hour, you didn't notice?"

I shook my head, I didn't expect him to know I'd just considered suicide but he should've known I was asleep at least.

"Well, wipe the drool off your chin and pay attention." He scoffed. Yeah...I understand the disdain towards me, I did kind of kick his boyfriend's ass. But it's not going to help if we all start to hate each other, I mean honestly, what good is that going to do at this point?

"Are they from the government?" I couldn't help asking the obvious, he responded with a simple nod.  
"I think so."

I glanced to the front of the bus, I could see Gaz glancing back through the rear view mirror every so often, catching my glanced with hers, and Tak and Keef had been the same, every one was tense.

"Should we pull over?" I asked. "It's not like we could loose them here."

We'd been driving for a while and ended up in one of the deserted areas that people had to cross to get to important places. I think.

"Yeah, at least to see what they want I mean, what other choice do we have?" He sighed, reaching under one of the seats where some of the bags were, this one of course harboring his weaponry.

"Dib take this."

He handed me a hot pink gun a lot like the one he had used to off that guard and bus driver when we'd first left the school/ I kind of frowned at the color, I mean I understand he likes it, but I like blue, black and grey . . . Still, as I hypothesized, it was probably masculine on his planet.

I slid it into my pant's hem then pulled my shirt over it, he grabbed one and did the same. I don't know why I did this, I really don't want to kill anyone.

Well, maybe keef but that's highly irrelevant.

"Gaz, pull over."

She glanced back with a look that said, "Are you fucking serious?"

Zim simply nodded and with a roll of her eyes she complied.

"Gaz, Tak, Keef you may come out but stay close to us because we're not going to issue any of you any weaponry."

Tak opened her mouth, probably to mention she had her own but Zim just nodded at her.

"Gir, stay on watch please and listen for any orders."

It just looked at him. The hell was gir anyways. I mean yeah I know it's a robot or drone from his planet but if you compared him to Mimi (Tak's well designed cat) Gir was sort of. . . stupid?

Though I shouldn't be surprised, I mean they exiled him, they probably gave him the most glitched and malfunctioned drone they could find out of spite.

As we stepped out, unsurprisingly the cars pulled up behind us.

We walked towards the closest vehicle, sleek, and surprisingly clean for the terrain we were in, a typical, "Men in Black"-esque agent stepped out, or at least whom I presumed was an agent.  
Or a drug dealer.

But I don't see what a drug dealer would want with us.

"Can we help you?" Zim asked, crossing his arms and glaring at the black glasses which covered the mans eyes.

"Dib Membrane." He said monotonously.

"Hn?" I perked my head up, I was side-tracked by staring at a little beetle on the ground.

"Gazdrianne Membrane."

Zim snickered as he looked back at Gaz, who flipped him 'the bird', which he'd returned with a slight smirk on his face.

"Zim Irkeen."

"Clever." Gaz retorted as Zim rolled his eyes.

"Keef Barrington."

"Here!"

Idiot.

"You're all under arrest for grand theft of a government issued vehicle as well as the murder of a government official."

We all looked around at eachother as the agents from the other two cars surrounded us.

The agent looked at Tak, "State your name."

"Tak...Irkeen?"

"No relation." Zim said.

The agent just shook his head and looked at her.

"You're under arrest for aiding an abetting murder and theft."

"Oh fuck that." She scoffed. While the agent wasn't looking I reached for my waistline, only to hear the click of another agent's gun to the back of my head.

"Holy fucking shit dude."

I raised my hands and glanced around at the other's. Keef was crying.

Ha.

"You can't do this, we're Professor Membrane's children!" Gaz yelled.

"Regardless of who's children you are a crime is a crime." He responded, "Besides, Membrane was declared dead yesterday morning."

"Impossible!" I yelled, "He messaged Gazdrianne-"

She glared at me, so I shut my mouth before correcting myself.  
"Gaz yesterday warning us about the virus's outbreak from the lab."

"He'd died long before the outbreak, and it didn't break from Membrane's lab, the virus has been recorded in over thirty major countries in every continent."

Wait- What? Holy shit.  
"What the hell do you mean!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to calm down or else."

Zim smirked, raising his hands above his head with a small chuckle.

We all looked at him like he was fucking insane.

"Gir. Sick em'."

That would've been so fucking bad ass if Gir would have actually responded. He held his cool pose for about 10 seconds before dropping his hands and turning to yell at the bus, in his typically screechy scream he used to get.

"GIR INTRUDER ALER-"

But before the agent could have bothered raising his gun to the Zim's back he was out, the other agents looked around as the flash of silver and red bolted past each of them, one by one dropping like flies.

Within 30 seconds they were all down, and Gir stood in a saluting pose, his typically teal eyes glowing a soft shade of faded red.

The poor thing was growing old, one of the lights was flickering a bit.

"Good dog." Zim smiled as it zipped itself up.

Keef sighed in relief, running to Zim but slipping on a rock. Zim had laughed at him with the others and I

couldn't help smiling a bit.

Gaz's face was void of color though.

That's right. . . dad is dead. .

Zim glanced over as Tak held Gaz, and walked towards me.

"Zim you're supposed to help me up!" Keef whined. Zim rolled his eyes and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Every one get back on the bus. . ." I said, pulling away from him. I wasn't in the mood.


	16. Sleazy Motels Only Mean One Thing

**Author's Note: This one is for my loving Lyn, well, more so then than the other's have been. **

This time Keef was chosen to drive for obvious yet; obviously not do obvious reasons. Heh, oxymoron.

I still secluded myself, I didn't know how to properly mourn, I mean yes I understand why we mourn why death may seem like such a scary thing but just because I know every black-clad cliche doesn't mean I know how to use them. I understand if it makes little sense, and still I've yet to cry over this, and I somehow cried over everything else this awful trip has offered me. Bruises, broken heart, and now the death of the only parent I had. I feel bad, is it insensitive of me to not cry?

Perhaps I subconsciously haven't registered his death, I mean yeah he's dead, I understand, just as anything else in life my view on reality is depressingly realistic and I know for a fact my father, Professor Membrane is dead, though his death could've had plenty of possibilities for now, my insensitive prick of a self will simply give the small amount of hope I have in hoping that he gets a proper burial beside my mother. But hey, as a human in my place all I can do is hope. I don't have my options for action as of current now do I? Stuck here on this bus with 2 aliens and 2 assholes.

Well, 3 assholes and an alien.

I wonder if Tak is crying, she'd always been rather close to father despite her bullshit, "rebellion".

"Hey Zimmy, the steering feels funny." Ugh, I didn't need to hear his voice at all, that is until the bus came to a complete halt in front of some run down plaza. Then it seemed as though in perfect unison we all sat up and looked at Keef in slight anger. No one really had the patience for this as of current.

"What are you pulling over for?" Zim hissed angrily. I wonder what put him in such a bad mood. I mean I could understand if those same words came from Gaz's mouth in such a tone, but even with an angry expression plastered onto her face, she still seemed rather hollow with slight sadness aching within that shell of runny mascara and eyeliner.

"It stopped on it's own!" Keef whined. Ugh, his voice was just as irritating as Gir's, if not worse. At least Gir's worked with his form, but Keef was a rather normal looking man for such a high, whiny, and irritating as hell voice

At least I had that over him. Plus Zim's sorta cracks so when all else gets me down I get to remember that I have a normal voice.

Yay?

Everyone piled out of the bus, a tire was out and the engine was leaking.

Oh fucking joy.

"Well, we need somewhere to stay." Zim sighed dragging his hands down his face in irritation.

"This is supposed to be a government issued vehicle!" Gaz screeched, kicking at the tire.

I'd avoid her for a while. . . I think every one is going to do the same, minus Tak who seems to be whispering 'sweet nothings' into her ear every so often to calm her down, and if she's calm put a slight but oh so temporary grin on her face.

Zim just rolled his eyes at her outburst, it's rather funny to see everyone start to hate each other after a while, we're all getting so fed up and it's only been a day. I really should be the one to mediate this, but maybe I'm not the only one to notice. Besides, no one's snapped at me yet, let's keep it that way.

"I'll fix it but it's going to take all evening to do, we should break. . . I'm sure Gaz, Dib and Keef need to eat." Zim sighed.

"As do we, we're not immortal, Zim." Tak said.

"Yeah well I'm not fucking hungry." He snapped.

Y'ouch.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Tak and I are going to go find a place to eat around here." Though it didn't seem to hard, this place was a bit of a ghost town.

"Keef, Dib." Zim said, turning to face us with a stern look on his face, "Get the fuck over your petty differences for a good hour or so and find the nearest in." He growled.

I sighed a bit, "I can go on my own."

"Bull shit, just do as I said."

I turned to start walking and Keef followed behind, we could ask for directions but I  
didn't feel like associating with any one here, I'm sort of scared to be honest, I feel like we're going to end up in one of those towns that, "doesn't welcome outsiders" or anything of the like, or seem nice and turn out to be freaks or-Well, we have aliens and emo kids, we're freaks.

I shouldn't judge, I don't mean to put myself above any one else, honestly. I've just seen one too many movies where the loving couple or newly weds car breaks down and they seek shelter in a town like this, run down and rustic and end up being murdered or some shit.

I'm doing it again.

"Dib."

"What?" I turned.

"Is that an inn?" It looked rather small, a few buildings shoved together, with a large sign that said, "Old West Motel"._ Fun_.

"I guess so, let's go tell the others. . . -" He'd grabbed my wrist rather quickly, I tried to yank it away but he'd gripped it tighter, "O..ouch.." I gripped his wrist and dug my nails in so he'd let go, but that went to vein. "Let go you prick!"

He forced me into a valley way, even though no one was around to begin with.

"What are you gonna try to kick my ass agai-Mph!" His lips were pressed to mine. "What the fu-" Again.

Fuck! What is he doing!

"What are you doing!?" He just took the opportunity to do it again, with tongue. My first kiss with a human and it tasted like orange mints and and asshole.

Wait-Wrong phrasing.

His hand held mine above my head and his legs pressed to mine refused my kicking.

"Why are you doing this!?"

"To prove you only lust after Zim."

"Is this what it's about-Ah..h" I couldn't help whimpering when his knee ground against my . . y'know.

"Of course. Besides, I know you think you love him, but heres the thing, you know nothing about him or his life. How could you love him? Heh, I bet you loved it a lot when he did this, didn't you?" He growled, sucking at my neck, I gripped the back of his shirt tightly, jolting up a bit. He smirked against my neck, I began to feel ill. "And when he did this.." His hand slipped into my shirt, tracing up my side. My stomach began to ache, I didn't like this at all, his knee continued grinding me and I felt like I was going to faint, his hand replaced his knee and began to work at my regretful erection skillfully..I was blacking out.

I felt numb.

"Ouch!" Keef let go, and I was able to shake out of my daze a bit to see Keef rubbing his head on the floor and Zim rubbing his fist wincing a bit.

"Stay away from him!" He yelled, was he talking to me or Keef?

Keef began to sob, "Zim he came onto me!"

"Cut the shit, Keef!"

Damn. . . I blushed a bit. I already know, "Gay" still I'm done denying it, Zim is attractive as all hell when he's yelling especially when it's for my defense. I couldn't help feeling special.

"And you!" He turned to me.

"What'd I do!? He raped me!"

"You sure didn't look like you were fighting!"

"I was blacking out!"

Zim yelled in frustration, then kicked keef in the calf as he tried to get up, "Stay away from each other!" He yelled.

It was getting dark and I was already done for the day. I called Gaz and Tak who'd gotten something to eat, and were bringing stuff back with them, they'd met us at the inn not too much later.

Three rooms.

We'd rented three, though I could've slept on the floor with my sister I liked being excluded again, either they did it because they hated me or respected my need for space. Zim an Keef still decided on sharing a room together.

That irritated me so dearly.

They're both idiots.

I hate them.

Gaz and Tak noticed the tension but no one talked about it, I'm sure Zim would bried them rather uncomfortably sooner or later, I hoped he would because honestly I'm pretty sure that Gaz would end up confronting me if it was mentioned in the future asking why I didn't tell her.

Should I tell her?

No. . . it's not that important right?

After we'd all eaten, Zim went back to working on the bus, Tak and Gaz could be hear giggling through the thin walls and Keef had been watching t.v in his room from what I could hear.

The comfort of the bed enveloped me and before I knew it I'd been holding the sheets close, giving my last bit of energy to placing my glasses on the nightstand before snoring soundly.

Perhaps I can forget about this for a bit. . .


	17. Seven Things I Hate About You

I woke in the darkness to r large crash coming from the room next to mine, Zim's and Keef's. . . I yawned and stretched, regretting napping because I know I'll be up all night now. I couldn't see the numbers blare against the alarm clock without my glasses, though it'd probably been wrong anyways. I placed my glasses on and read it as, "11:23" But my phone said, "10:22". And hour didn't bug me but that extra minute sort of bugged me, I mean I don't have ocd but honestly.

I could ear barely audible murmuring from the rooms opposite mine, these walls were thin as paper and I think mine had a peephole in the corner. Classy.

I preferred sound over sight so I crept up from the squeaky bed as silently as I could and though a creak or two echoed in the silence the yelling didn't stop. I pressed my ear next to the hole and held my breath steadily.  
"I don't see why you go so easy on that looser, I'm your boyfriend."

"Right call him a loser, that makes you so fucking cool." Zim spat. I peeked ever so often to see what was going on, Keef sat on the bed, half naked (of-fucking-course) whilst Zim paced back and forth.

"I am cool." Wow, he sounded like such a tool right now, "I mean I'm a rugby champion, and I'm pretty attractive if you hadn't noticed. . " He grabbed Zim's hand so he'd look at him, then traced up his arm, "And I know you have." he smirked. Zim yanked his arm away.

"Y'know you're not really my type the more I think of it."

"Oh and that psycho is?"

Ouch.

"Maybe."

"You're a piece of crap boyfriend." Keef yelled, throwing a pillow at the irken.

"Oh fucking yeah? Really? Because I think I recall your Christian faith in the alley way back there, and I must say you've obeyed the commandments on adultery to a T!"

"Right, use my faith on me. Sarcasm is so cute." He rolled his eyes.

"Get over yourself."

"Not until you get over me."

"I was over you before we dated."

"Right that's why you told me you loved me, huh Zimmy?"

"I said that so you'd shut the fuck up!"

"Liar liar!"

"See? Do you fucking see it again? You sound like a fucking child! You have no intellectuality what so ever."

"Um, hello? Straight-A student."

"That's nothing but memory, dick face. Tell me, 'babe' what on earth does that have to do with Emotional intelligence, or creativity?"

Keef remained rather quiet.

"You know who's emotionally intelligent?"

"Don't you dare, Zim!"

"You know who really understands me?"

"Zim Irkeen!"

"Dib."

I covered my mouth to silence the sharp inhale which resulted from my shock. Though I sensed it coming.

"Dib understands my pain."

"What pain? Not being able to get it up for anyone but bitch-boy emo kids who can't bear there own pathetic lives enough and have to try and off themselves because they're so unpopular? Because they need that much fucking attention?"

I heard a crash and put my eye back to the peephole, Keef was on the floor covering his face and Zim was rubbing his fist.

"Know what, prince-fucking-charming?" Zim spat, kicking him in the side, "I tolerated you because you were so damn obsessed with me, since day fucking one and I tried to get rid of you as a child but you're too damn stupid to realize it!"

Keef sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Dib might not be popular, or cool-" Thanks, Zim. "But he's nothing like you!"

"Oh I bet."

Keef made another groan as I assume, Zim hit him in some way.

"Shut the fuck up! Dib understands what it's like to be an outcast, Dib knows the pain of exile from a society you've done nothing to but try to fucking protect!"

"You're defending him when he'd tried to expose you as an alien all these years?"

"Like I said, he was trying to protect his people just as I did mine, and though people like us do nothing but try we get the shit end of everything!" His breath began to sound shaky, was he crying? "Do you think it's fucking fair, you ginger fuck!?" Another 'whoosh" Someone got hit but no one made a cry of pain, "Do you want to know why I like him so fucking much?"

I looked through the hole to see Zim lift his sleeve and force Keef to look at the scars on his wrists and arms.  
"I like him because he know this sort of pain. Go ahead, call him an emo bitch boy for feeling heart ache."

Does Zim have a heart? I know he has a dick and a "squeedlyspooch"-Regardless, he obviously has feelings. . .

"Y'know, we don't have anything in common Keef, but I thought I cared a bit for you because you accepted me. . ." He sniffed, "But you're nothing but a rebound for Dib, y'know that right? A generic companion. And if I'd've known he didn't completely hate me like this you'd've been alone too, and maybe you'd've understood real fucking pain. Because every" slam. "Time" slam "I" slam "Throw a fucking fist at you!" Another slam, "It hurts, but not as bad as any pain I've felt, and not nearly as horrid as the pain Dib has felt!"  
Both of them seemed to be crying, "He's lost everything y'know? His home, family-"

"He has Gaz."

"Gaz hates him!"

Not gonna lie there. . .

"And after loosing is fucking father you go and do that!?"

"Zim-I'm sorry.."

"Stop! First you fight him-"

"He threw the first punch!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"You deserved it for making that comment about his suicide. You petty cool kids are all the same, do you think it's a joke? He was in enough pain to want to end it all, and you laughed at that to make a comment about being with me!? Do you know what I hate about you? You're stuck-up, two-faced, too damn perky, rude, your voice irritates the shit out of me even when you moan, You're selfish and a complete tool."

"Zim-"

"No, want something to laugh at?! It's over Keef!"

Another slam, but it wasn't flesh, it was the door.

I felt tears streaming from my eyes and my cheeks were already damp, when did I start crying?

At least the girls aren't crying. . .

I should go back to sleep. . .it's already 11:23. Heh. .


	18. Do Not Disturb

I was in shock, petrified actually-I don't know what I was but I'm sure it was kind of happy, I mean he stood up for me. And- . . he's the first. He also left his boyfriend, but I dunno if it was for me. I held my chest as I leaned against the wall smiling softly. I was in a daze, the sort of lovey-dovey daze you get when you're. . . in love.

I honestly felt bad for keef but what was I to do? I have so much thinking going on right now. . but sometimes thinking is bad, because now I feel bad for saying everything he told me was a lie. Was it? I can't be for sure now. . .

A pound at my door perked me up and when I answered his lips were against mine. My arms raised to wrap around him until I thought a bit too far into things and shoved him off.

"You can't come to me as a rebound for Keef.." I said shakily.

"You were a break from Keef."

"I'm not some sort of boyfriend-vacation!" I- . . 'boyfriend-vacation'. . . clever. Ugh I should just shut up.

"You're not." He sighed, walking past me, reaching in a drawer grabbing a, "Do Not Disturb Sign".

"Zim.." He placed it on the door, then closed it, grinning at me. My face began to heat up more and more the closer he'd gotten, the redder I got. He pressed his lips to mine, rather softly this time, I couldn't help pressing back, enjoying to moment, until he'd gripped my arms, pushing me down onto the bed. I yelped a bit, it's not like I meant to at all.

He stood before me, looking me up and down. I kept trying to avoid eye contact, especially with how his pinkish lenses seemed to illuminate in the dark. His eyes gave his commands, as he tugged of his shirt, I sat up to take mine off with shaky hands. This obviously wasn't my first time considering the night at my house but-His lips were on mine again..Right too much thinking.

Still, I needed to think! I mean-I want to have the respect for myself and be able to say, 'No' but. . . I want it. I want him so badly.

I wrapped my arms around him loosely, giving him leverage as his kiss became heated, I didn't bother doing the whole, "fight for dominance" things with out tongues, he was obviously the winner and if by some off chance he wouldn't have been, I truly wanted him to be.

His kiss left my lips and my lips were left panting, he gripped my chin pushing my head up so he could lick and nip at my neck.

"Z..zim stop teasing me-Ahh.." I moaned against my hand before biting into the side of my thumb, he'd began to suck as roughly as he could at my neck. My legs instinctively spread apart, whilst one of my thighs trailed up his side.

I didn't want to be a rebound, I but I wanted to be with him. Still I can't help but question the absence of my self respect. . . I never did respect myself and but something felt wrong.

His hand pushed my bangs out of my face before his lips pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. He'd stopped. . . he hesitated.

Everything stopped and he looked me in the eyes with an unusual expression I truly couldn't read.

"You still love him, don't you?" I asked, glancing aside. He shook his head before pressing his lips to mine, softly...carefully.

"I never did I just. . . Don't want to do this with you."

"I understand-"

"You don't." He hushed, grabbing my cheeks making me look him in the eyes.

"I.."

"I don't want you to feel like you're a second choice or just. . . Keef's "sloppy seconds" or something."

And once again it's as if he's read my mind.

"I don't."

"Honestly..?"

I did. . . but knowing this, I truly don't any more, I just want to lay back and. . stop thinking. I want to let it happen now.

I nodded at him, a soft smile on my face before pressing my lips up against his, he forced his back and he'd seemed somewhat nervous, he shook a bit with every movement.

Even as he tugged down my pants, and took off his own his hands shook. . . they shook as they traced my sides and my thighs.

He pushed them up and my face burned, I'd looked aside. I didn't want to see his expression, I knew I had a lot of marks from cuts and burns, I wasn't beautiful. . .

I knew in the darkness they were hardly visible, but he traced each one with his fingers and though it was in sentiment, I shuddered a bit.

"Breathtaking.."

"Huh. . ." My heart raced as his head lowered to kiss at my scars...it was sweet but I couldn't help the soft moans that escaped my throat.

And. . . I didn't want to, this was the time I needed to lay back and let it happen. With all this thinking, this awfully distracting thinking I'd yet to realize how far he'd gotten before his tongue entered me. My legs spread further as I threw my head back.

For someone as. . . inexperienced as myself, I wasn't really over-reacting, I was just a bit sensitive, especially with how. . .long his tongue was.

"Z-Z..im!" My toes curled as I tried to contain myself. I bit my lip as I whimpered.

"Be as loud as you want. . ." He whispered before returning to the toying. His tongue slid in deeply, gliding against my prostate as I let out an unintentionally exaggerated scream.

"O..h my god!" I cried, I couldn't see what he did very much in the darkness, I could just feel his hands grip my thighs, digging his nails in.

"I can't deal with this much foreplay." He panted, wiping his lips.

"What do you me-Ow.." He gripped my thighs again, shoving me closer to the headboard, causing me to his my head.

He gripped himself, holding my ankles out of the way with his other arm before pushing himself in. I groaned out loud, I didn't have enough stamina for this and I was ready to loose it.

He let go of my thighs, and I wrapped my legs around him as he began thrusting in, the bed creaked with every thrust, and slammed against the wall. It's not as if he was going as fast as a bullet or something cheesy from a sex novel but he did slam in rather hard and the bed wasn't too sturdy.

With every thrust an exclamation was either screamed from me, or groaned from him.

"H-harder!" I'd begged, despite his current roughness. My nails made their way to his back as they dug in, I didn't mean to make him bleed, but he'd hissed in pain and began thrusting in deeper, he scowled at me, and I was somewhat scared, only to have him lean down and kiss at my neck.

"Hn..nn" This felt...N..nice-"Ow!"

He'd bitten down on my collar, not releasing his grip I'm sure he drew blood.

"Fuck..." He groaned in my ear, making my face burn once again.

"I..Zim I think I'm gonna-" I Whimpered trying to hold it back, he kissed up my neck before whispering in my ear as he gripped me

"Then do it~" He'd began to jerk the grip, but it'd sent me over. My legs tightened around him and my toes curled as I threw my head back releasing, calling his name over and over.

He'd thrust in one more time holding still as he released. . . I felt it, everything from the actual liquid to him throbbing inside of me before pulling out.

I blushed a bit as something lukewarm ran down my thighs.

"I can't get pregnant from your alien cum can I?"

He laughed and pressed his lips to mine. I'll take that as a no, considering I'd asked jokingly.

"Go to sleep." He said as he pulled me under the blankets.

"Alright-Heh.." I looked down to see him already snoring softly.

I kissed his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder, holding him before nodding off myself. . .


	19. Cock Block

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**WOO~! Longest chapter yet, and since I've made over 1000 views for my first story I'm doing a Q and A, just post a question to a character and it will be answered in either a bonus chapter or a separate fic.**_

_**Ex: Keef, why did you rape Dib? .w.?**_

_**End of question deadline: 4/7/13**_

_**I need at least 15 questions to post the chapter. If they're good only ten.**_

_**And; yes a person may ask more than one question and-Anonymous questions are fine too.**_

_**And-Yay! Longest chapter. The ideas and twists were thought up by my beloved, a true genius who's the reason why I've gotten so far!**_

_**Without further a-due: Chapitre Dix-Nuef~!**_

Morning came but after a quick glance at the hour and minute late alarm I could tell it was too early. My eyes blinked and the black curtains hid any little light from the barely rising sun, I sat up stretching, only to wince at the ache in my lower back. Zim smiled, wrapping his arms around my waist as I sat up.

"I'm going to go shower. . ." I said softly as he loosened the grip, nodding to turn over and hide in his blankets.  
It'd been no later than 5 a.m and even though he refused to get up earlier than noon from what I recall, he held me as a good morning. Over-analyzing perhaps but still, a slight blush crept on my cheeks as I stepped into the luke-warm water. Cheap hotel. . .

As I leaned over to grab the soap I felt something slimy run down my leg. . . I glanced down at the clear-pink-tinted liquid. . . Was it. . Zim's-Oh my god!

I shivered a bit, grabbing the small bar of soap and scrubbing all over as fast as I could before rinsing off and grabbing a towel.

I dried my chest, shivering still at the cold, the sun had yet to hear the earth and the motels AC read, "72*"

Burr. . .

I wrapped the towel around my waist, walking out to the mirror to inspect myself.

My face had looked normal, pale, grey rings under my eyes. . . My thin body had been covered in irkin love bites.

Heh. . .

I walked over and sat next to him, despite the hour he'd already been dressed again, minus his shirt. . . snoring over the covers, or so I thought.

His arms wrapped around my chest as he pulled me down, crawling over to kiss at my neck.

"Oh Zim~" I giggled, "Wait-No..Ah-Ahh!" He'd bitten down again, and his hand was in my shirt, pinching at my nipples. He pulled me up to tug off my shirt and pushed me back down.

Oh god. . . I could feel the heat in my stomach build up as he kneed at my groin, sneaking his other hand down to unzip his pants, then my own.

My lips parted and a loud sickly groan emitted. . . but not from my lips

"That was not attractive." He laughed, biting at my inner thigh.

"When did you take my pants off-That wasn't me!"

"What do you mean that wasn't you. .-" A loud thump pounded at the door, though is was loud it was slow. Zim rolled his eyes, "Can't you read the do not disturb!?"

The pound continued, "I'm trying to fuck here-" My face turned red as he gripped me through my boxers.  
He sighed, stomping over and opening the door, I pulled the sheets over myself to hide my 'exposed' body but he'd been shameless, answering the door without a shirt, or pants, in his black and white striped boxers.

"WH-" I looked up as a slam emitted, I saw Zim rubbing his fist grabbing my phone and glasses, then snatching my hand up to bolt past the door. I held the sheets close as he pushed me inside the bus, tossing me myglasses and turning on my phone.

"Zim!"

"Shut it-" He glanced back, "I-I mean. . ." he shook his head, dialing a number, "Gazdri- Gaz."

I heard her yell, "Well get in the fucking van or we're leaving you behind this whole hick-town looks to be full of them.

As observant as I usually am I didn't notice that what Zim punched wasn't a man, but a monster.

"And call Keef." He said, sighing. "No, I just don't want to talk to the faggot." He tapped his foot, "Yeah well if you heard it all you'd've heard your brother begging for my co-"

He glanced over, my face had been red. I had no reaction for that.

"Sorry." He smiled at me. Well. . . he's trying. Tak ran out with Gaz, still holding her phone to her ear.  
"Yeah faggot, hurry."

Why does everyone use that word so loosely. . .

Keef came running out with something stuffed in his shirt, he'd been a fast runner, he'd made it past Gaz and Tak even as they ran.

Within moments everyone was on the bus. Gaz looked over at me, then Zim, then Tak, all snickering. Keef rolled his eyes.

"Slut."

I couldn't tell who'd said it at first since it was a whisper but I'd assumed Keef.

"No it was me." Gaz laughed, everyone else-Minus bad-luck brian over here began to laugh at me.

"Babe, you're still naked."

I turned red faced, covering myself with the thin white sheet.

"Nice hickies" Gaz commented.

"So's yours" I sighed as I made my way to the back of the bus where my bag was. I'd slid on my grey jeans as Zim began to cackle.

"You call him a faggot!? You're a fucking dyke!" He laughed.

"I am not!"

"Really? Because Tak's hicky seems to have the same shade of cheap-spirit store lipstick you're wearing." He grinned, I glanced over as she reached for Keef's phone, throwing it at Zim.

"Hey!" He shouted.

I'd tried to tug my boot up but I fell over considering Zim had started the bus.

"Was it good?" Tak smirked at her fellow irken.

"You wouldn't even believe it." He'd laughed, "I mean I've had plenty, but that was so-" He'd caught himself.

"Oh you can act like an pimp with me but you try to be a gentle-irken for him?" Keef scoffed.

"I'm only a pimp if you're a whore." He smirked.

Keef rolled his eyes, sitting down behind Zim and opening a book to read, every so often closing his eyes to hold his palms together.

"What are they doing?" Tak asked. I slid my shirt over my head to see Gaz was praying too.  
"Worship to a being they've never seen."

"There's not proof of his existence either." I said.

Gaz may've been a bitch but she used Christianity as a weapon of her pretentious behavior.

I looked around in my bags for my medication. I found my head ache pills, anti-allergins and pain killers, but none of my anti-depressants. I looked around to see if they'd rolled under the seats.

"Loose something?" Tak asked.

"My meds. . ."

"Anything deadly?" Keef asked.

"No." I smiled, "Just some happy pills." I said, my tone condescending as ever.

His eyes rolled as he went back to reading his bible. Ew. Who actually reads the bible? Like, really?

I glanced around.

"Maybe you forgot them, dear."

"Dear?" Keef scoffed again.

"Mind your own business."

"I'm just saying we've dated for like, 2 years and the nicest thing you've called me was incubus."

"Wasn't a compliment, slut."

"Boys..." Tak sighed.

"Yeah. . ." I'd added awkwardly, "I think I left them at home. . . it's not important though."

"Yeah I bet you're in a good mood." Keef hissed.

"I'm not sinking to your level Keef."

"Better than me?"

"Oh he is." Zim laughed, winking at me from the rear-view mirror. I smiled softly.

"Whatever, I always knew you'd be the sloppy-second's type." Keef smirked.

"I'm your sloppy second?" Zim began to cackle, "Oh my tallest-I'm sorry Keef I can't take you seriously. Go pray to your gog or whatever."

"God!" He yelled, "What the hell are you to zim?" He asked, "A fuck buddy? An adulterer?"

Zim glanced back at me.

"Someone he goes to when he's down-Oh I know! A whore!"

I glanced down, sadly.

"He's my boyfriend." Zim said. "And he's so amazing in bed, really Keef." He began to chuckle, "So tight and sweet, not loose like you." My face burned red, it was sweet until he'd said that. "Hell, he's the best I've ever had."

I don't like knowing he's had a lot."

"His only competition is me."

"Don't you think so."

"What do you mean. . .?

"Remember those 'irken' rashes I used to get all the time?"

"Yeah. . ."

"Hickies. All of them, and none of them were your's keef."

Keef began to scream at the top of his lungs, stomping over to me.

"Why did you decide to take my Zimmy, huh!?"

Zim glanced back every so often, trying to keep his eyes on the road and on us. Keef was in my face and I tried ducking down a bit way too close for comfort there buddy.

"Oh~! I know" He giggled in my ear, I backed up as he stood, clearing his throat, "He makes you feel good. And~! He understands you, how sweet."

I glanced up.

"He knows how you feel and makes you feel like you're not alone. . ."

Everyone looked around. I tilted my head. . . that sounded familiar, or. . . was I having de-ja vu?

"Hehehe~! Ha!" Keef giggled extensively.

"Oh my tallest, he's lost it. . ." Zim said.

"But don't you feel guilty?"

"For. . . taking your boyfriend. Kinda, I mean I feel bad, I didn't mean for this to happen I'm actually sorry. I know I can't change it, and an apology isn't much but I'm sorry."

For a split second the madness in his eyes faded and he looked me over with a sort of soft sadness. He glanced back at Zim before his expression returned to it's madness.

"No, for it feeling like . . . what was it, 'a sickening pleasure you couldn't control'.?"

Wait-

. . .No. Please. . .he doesn't mean-

_"Y'know? Guilty like when Dwicky raped you when you were thirteen?"_


	20. Flash Backs and Anxiety Attacks

**_Happy Easter. . ._**

**_My Easter present for Lyn, and my readers of course._**

_"Dib. . . come to my house after school, I've got some new paranormals studies you'd love to see."_

_How did he know. . ._

_"Where are they?" I sat down, looking around his living room, I'd been here before, not much had changed, shelves of DVD's, one with copy righted films, some of his own for sightings and the like, a few were in a locked case._

_On his shelves were framed pictures as well, one of him smiling softly on a bench in a scarf, one of us. . . . I considered us friends._

_"Dib." He handed me a glass of tea, his plane, mine with creme and light sugar. I sipped at it for a while as we talked about a new, 'case' he'd been working on known as the Mothman, something I'd heard little about thought I took slight interest._

_"I don't want to be rude. . ." I said, standing. It feels off. . .I can't get to my feet. "I. . have to go. I don't feel well." I looked up at Dwicky from the couch I'd fallen on. He smiled softly. . . _

_"Dib. . . I love you." My eyes widened for a bit, as wide as they'd go in my state, I tried to stand but his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap. I felt his hand cover my mouth as I breathed in a slightly sweet scent. . it wasn't floral. . . "I really do love you."_

_Ch. . .l_

_o. .ro. . -_

. . .

_My eyes blinked open, I could barely move, Dwicky was there. . .Oh right._

_Soft breaths escaped my lips as he kissed down my neck. . . I glanced aside to see my clothes folded on his night stand, then down to see them not on my body. . _

_I inhaled softly, had an attractive scent, you'd think he smelled odd, like paste or mint, but a soft tickle of his hairs to my nose as he sucked at my adam's apple, still growing in puberty, I realized he smelt like honey suckle. . . _

_It was familiar. . My mother smelt of honey suckle. . _

_I unintentionally wrapped my arms around him, he smiled down at me._

_"M. . .mister dwicky-I don't want to do this please. . ."_

_"I won't enter you, I just want a taste. . ."_

_"Please. ." Tears streamed down my eyes._

_"I'm only going to touch. . . I'd never hurt you. I don't care what society as to say, I love you Dib."_

_"I don't want to do this. . . can't we. .Just be friends."_

_"We are friends. ." He smiled, kissing down my stomach, nibbling softly on my navel making me cry out a bit. His hands slid down my thighs._

_"So smooth. . ." He'd began to pant as he pushed one up, sliding his tongue up my thigh to the back of my knee._

_"Stop now. . .Please!" I'd gotten enough strength to yell._

_He'd licked at my growing erection, my stomach began to ache. This was my fault. . I began to cry feeling guilty as every because I did this to myself._

_He held me close as I sobbed into his chest._

_It's my fault. . ._

_I did this to myself._

_I continued these thoughts as his tongue played with my erection, I'd moan every so often. . .It was a sickening pleasure I couldn't control. _

_I'd tried to fight back, only to smell that sweet scent before blacking out again._

_When I'd awoken he'd been tying his tie, frowning a bit at me._

_"Dib you won't tell anyone of this. . ."_

_"You're the only one who understands me. . . I promise I won't."_

_A sickening pleasure. . . Guilt_

I looked up with tears soaking my cheeks dripping down to my lap to see Keef, the look on his face was that of a school bully who'd made his victim bleed, he was slightly frightened at what he'd just done and at the same time, he was proud to have hurt me.

I looked around to see everyone staring in shock, we'd pulled up to a rest stop in the middle of a deserted area. I kicked Keef out of the way running to the building looking for any sort of bathroom, but ended up vomiting outside instead.

I clutched my chest and began to sob.

"Gaz!" I screamed. She ran over to me in slight fear, this was one of those moments where she was a sister. . . those rare moments when a line was crossed or when I'd gotten hurt. My body shivered and sweat all over at the same time. I felt my head get dizzy . . . I couldn't breathe and I choked out for air.

She held my inhaler to my lips and clicked it down six or seven times trying to catch my breath.  
I'd almost fainted and could feel myself needing to vomit again. I found the bathroom doing so.  
I sobbed more, what was everyone to think now?

I wiped my eyes, washing my face. I didn't want to face them.

In their eyes I'm probably a slut. . . I'd asked for it, it was . . my fault.

I did it to myself. . . I'm to blame and they know it. ..

Now they all know it.

I'm embarrassed and Ashamed-What would Zim think now? I don't even know if he really took my virginity now. . . He doesn't either. I wish I could have given it to him . . but I'd been too careless with Dwicky and now. . I'm nothing but a whore.

And Gaz. . .She hadn't know about that. My own sister, and for once I think she knew I was in true pain. . .

I wanted to protect Dwicky because I knew what he was going through. It wasn't his fault, he just wanted someone to understand and love him.

Because it hurts when the one you love, the one who understands you just can't be with you and if they can, society has a fucking problem with it.

In his heart, a little boy, a minor.

In mine, a male, an alien. . . someone who wanted to destroy my planet.

In Zim's, and though I try not to flatter myself, a human on the planet of useless scum he'd tried destroying since day one.

In Keef's a male, though with him being attractive it mustn't have been too hard to conform to society, an alien. . . someone who didn't love him.

My father's, a woman. . . a normal couple for society, minus the fact she'd been a christian who'd been against all science. . .

And my mother, a woman who fell for a man she was taught to see as blasphemous.

Love is. . so, so cruel.


	21. Rack City: Population: Dead

**Now, I obviously couldn't just give my beloved one measly chapter for Easter. Enjoy.**

I walked out of the restroom, wiping my eyes, sliding an old mint I had in my pocket into my mouth. I know, it's gross but vomit breathe is worse. At least it's not stale. . .

I turned the corner to see Gaz holding a large plank of wood in her hand, with Zim holding her back. Keef stood there awkwardly with shock in his eyes and blood gushing down his face, it as hard to say where it was coming from, there was a lot of it.

"You fucking faggot!" She screeched, her voice causing Zim and Tak to wince, Tak raised her hands to the top of her head, probably where her antenna hid.

"I'll fucking kill you!"

"Wh-what happened?" I asked, running over. . . well sprinting.

"What do you mean!? He just said that shit to you!"

"He'd snuck on the bus last night, which is probably where he'd gotten this." Tak said, holding up an obtuse bible. She parted the covers to reveal another black book fall out, sleek and neat. . . The word, "Diary" painted over in think black nail polish with 'Journal' written over in metallic sharpie . . . My diary.

"You . . . took my journal." I said. I didn't know what to think of it, and I hadn't much time to think.  
"Dib! Hold your fucking sister still!" Zim shouted as she kicked at him. I held Gaz by her elbows as Zim ran over to Keef, throwing a punch at his jaw, causing the red head to fall to the floor.

"You fucking idiot. . ." Zim sighed, wiping his fist. "You need to snap out of this shitty little insane me you're fucking playing because it's not fucking cute."

"I don't have to listen to you!"

"You bet your ass you do! I'm in charge here."

"Who fucking voted?" Keef said, standing and wiping his lip, both boys were in a fighting stance.  
"I don't know." Zim said turning to face his back to Keef, a smirk grew on his face as he pulled his gun from his waist line, he turned and aimed it at the other's direction.

I let go of Gaz running to stop him.

"Zim don't hurt him!" I yelled, but he'd already fired, but. . . It didn't hit Keef, instead not too many feet away a figure dropped, with blood shot eyes and pale skin we all looked around at each other.

"Where the hell did that come from!?" Gaz yelled. We all gathered around the body, Keef was shaking. He tried to hold Zim to 'thank' him but Zim pushed him off, walking over to me . . . wrapping his arms around me.  
"I'm so sorry. . ." I thought I'd been better, but his apology brought tears to my eyes. . . I looked up at him before hiding my face in his chest.

"Keef, You're driving." He ordered.

"Yes sir. . ."

"Gaz, you're in charge of directions."

"Alright."

"Tak, keep watch. First tend to Keef's wounds"

"Okay. But what will you do?"

"Take care of my boyfriend." He smirked, "And, if anyone fucks with him, they will be answering to me."  
A smile crept on my face as he grabbed my hand, leading me into the bus, sitting beside me. Keef sat in the driver's seat as Tak cleaned him up.

This was awkward as all hell to be honest. . . I knew what I had to say but I could feel myself shake.

"Guys. . ."

Everyone turned to me, except for Keef, who kept his gaze on the floor.

"We're obviously. . .having problems. We're all going insane and if this goes on, none of us will make it. . ."

They all remained quiet.

"We need to make amends, even if we don't mean it. . . just pretend to be happy. . . I should know, I used to pretend all the time."

"Why'd you stop. . ."

"No one cared."

More silence.

"Gaz. . . You're an awful sister, you judge me and hurt me and tease me bu after sixteen years, it's time for us to make amends."

She looked at me with sentiment.

"Father would have wanted such." She nodded.

"Keef . . . " He glanced over.

I really didn't want to be friends with him at all. I mean, I felt bad for hating him for no reason in the beginning but now I realize what he is. . .An attention whore, and a bitch boy. He thinks Zim is his, no matter what and even when Zim tells him blatantly he hates him, Keef continue that stupid shit like calling him Zimmy, or hugging him like back there.

"Perhaps I should say it another time. . ."

He just nodded, once the final bandage was on he faced forward, and began to drive.

It was raining. . . if I recall correctly, it was the first day of November. . . In five days gaz would be seventeen and in 21 days I'd be eighteen. . .

I checked my phone, it was already 3 P.M and it'd started to rain. . the sound of the pitter patter on the bus's metal top calmed me so.

I fell asleep on Zim's chest, the feeling of him running his hands through my hair aided with the sleepiness from crying and sound of rain put me to sleep easily.

I'd opened my eyes, and Zim handed me my glasses. . . how long had I been asleep?

"What time is it?" I yawned. Gaz had switched seats with Keef, who was sleeping against a window. It'd been darker, but still raining.

"Nine. . ." Tak said.

I glanced over at Zim who'd had earphone wires inside his hair. . . I don't think he heard me, though I wondered what he'd been listening to.

"You realize if you sleep like that, you're going to end up nocturnal." Gaz said, a slight yawn escaping her lips. "Tak, you might have to take over. . . or Zim again." He didn't even glance up, he'd began to fall asleep. She glanced back, "Tak, then."

Tak nodded, Gaz pulled over.

We weren't in the grassy green-lands anymore, we'd been in a town but the dense fog set an eerie tone I wasn't comfortable with.

Then I heard it.

The groan.

"Guys. . . we have trouble." Gaz said, pulling to a stop.

Zim looked up, tugging the ear buds out which must have hidden sound well considering I clearly heard the lyrics to Rack City.

I laughed a bit at his taste in music, though I couldn't tell if he'd been ironic or not.

"Oh fuck me." Zim sighed, I looked out the window to see the masses.

"Holy shit. . ." I whispered, Zim looked at me, smirking.

"Ready to play with the guns?"

No . . . I wasn't ready at all.

There were so many, at least a hundred. I sighed a bit, praying in a sense in my head just. . . thinking, 'I'll see you soon dad. . . mom.'


	22. Let's Do Some Hoodrat Shit

**Again, another Easter gift for my Lyn. Je t'aime.**

"Alright, looks like our first encounter is going to outnumber us by a landslide with 0 training minus two Irkin elite. Now you're going to follow my orders or fucking die, either is fine by me." Zim yelled from the back of the bus, he grabbed the heavy bag he'd given me with the weapons giving two smaller guns to Keef. His hands shook.

"Zimmy I don't think I can do this."

"Then it was really awful knowing you, Keef. Goodbye on your journey to Haven."

"Heaven. . ." He sighed, taking the guns.

"Gaz make sure that door stays fucking shut." He said, handing her a rather large gun. She smiled, it looked like it had controller, just how she liked it.

He smiled, handing me a rather normal one, all of which were hot pink.

He tossed the bag over his shoulder, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine, sliding his tongue in. . .he raised his hand to my cheek and held me as his other hand pulled me up by the waist. Everyone sort of stayed quiet, my face burned as I wrapped my arms around him.

"What a lovely goodbye. . ." I smiled. Wiping my eyes.

"It wasn't goodbye, it's, 'I'm going to fucking protect you'." I smiled, though it faded as he pushed the emergency exit to the top open and began to climb up to the top of the bus.

"Zim no!" I yelled.

"I'll be fine. Gir!" He yelled.

Oh. I thought we'd left him at the motel. "Wake mode. Intruder Alert! Code: Masses. Tactic: Eliminate" Gir's eyes illuminated as he perked up, no longer in his puppy outfit he flew up to the top of the bus.

"Sick em'"

Gir'd began to obey, destroying multiple 'Zombies'.

"Open your windows and fire!" Zim yelled over the rain.

I'd been the first to obey rather apprehensively, I cracked it open, the flinched as one banged on the window. I poked the gun out, shooting it in the face. Rather than exploding it disintegrated completely. Perhaps to stop from any of it's bodily fluids infecting me.

Gaz had been on turbo mode, once she killed one she had over ten to her wim.

Tak took it rather professionally, aiming carefully before firing. I could hear Zim yell happily from the top, he'd been having too much fun.

"Dib." Keef said, "I can't do this!"

"Do it or die!" I yelled, he closed his eyes to pray before firing slowly at very few targets, Gir following after to pick up the slack of his lame aim. His gun didn't disintegrate them, rather it liquefied them. Ew.

"Never could aim very well." Zim mocked, cackling madly.

In nervousness Keef glanced down.

"Look out!" I yelled, One of the beings was at his window hand reaching in since he'd opened it too wide. He yelped loudly and with a shaky hand I aimed, and fired.

I. . . got it.

He looked at me with thankfulness and pain in his eyes he closed his window and began to sob.

Between 2 Elite invadors, A drone, A gun happy girl and myself a total of five fighters the mass was gone in fifteen minutes, Zim slid down soaking wet. I bit my lip, now was not the time for an awkward erection, he looked over, panting slightly with a grin on his face. He and Gaz seemed to give each other that look before yelling, "That was fucking awesome!"

He glanced over at me, winking. I blushed before he swept me up, lips to mine again.

He licked his lips and looked around for the sheet I'd had this morning to dry off.

"Did I do good master!~?" Gir yelled, his eye flickering a bit.

"Very." He smiled, "Let's dry you, you don't need any more rust."

Gir was irritating as hell, but bundled in the sheet on sleep mode I realized how much he meant to Zim. He'd looked so cute holding the bundle, though it was made of metal, he pet it like it could feel. He glanced back, now Keef had taken my place to the back of the bus, sobbing loudly. . . He'd been scared.  
Zim set the bundle in his lap. . .Keef held it close and sighed.

I truly felt bad for him. . .

At the front, we enjoyed ourselves as Gaz drove, wide awake and pumped full of adrenaline.

"How many did you get~?" Zim smirked.

"22!"

"31" He laughed, sticking his tongue out.

"15 . ." I didn't keep track but it felt as such.

Tak glanced over smiling, "20 or so."

"Keef got about 5."

"I won't even bother counting Gir's." He laughed.

In a sense I understood Keef, he wouldn't kill the living and unlike the zombies I'd known from horror films. . . they weren't dead yet. Just sick.

Insane incurable eating people sick. . . but sick.

"It's okay. . ." Zim said.

"How much further?" I asked Gaz.

She stopped the bus, checking her phone's GPS.

"We'll be there in a few hours. . . but I'm tired as all hell, we need a motel again."

"Not in this town." I added.

Zim glanced up, "Let's find an abandoned house or something."

"Where the hell do we find that?" I asked. No really, where."

"Maybe up there." He said, pointing to a gated neighbor hood. It'd been empty looking, the houses looked new even for a gated community.

"Coming soon? November. . . 3" Tak read the sign.

"Looks like we've got a place to stay." Zim smirked.

"That's illegal!" Keef and I yelled.

I didn't mean for that to happen but whatever.

"I don't think they're going to sell anytime soon."

"Can we all take our own house~?" Gaz smiled.

"No." Zim said, his tone stern.

"Why not!?"

"Because we need to stay together and get out of here as soon as possible, let's be on the bus at 10 a/m if you're not there you're presumed dead."

"Can I choose the house?"

"Nope."

"Why!?"

"Because Dib gets to."

I blushed a bit, shaking my head.

"Let her, I'm fine. . ." He rolled his eyes. She chose one next to the community's private lake.

"Let's go in."

"Zim's hydrophilic." I said, "As is Tak."

"He was in the rain."

"My disguise is protecting me, just like Tak's did from the meat in Skool."

I felt dumb.

"Well. . .It's not really the time." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Zombie apocalypse?"

"It's a gated community, who the hell is supposed to get in?"

"Alright." I sighed. Honestly, I just wanted to sleep now and get to safety.

I guess tonight is going to be a long. . . long night.

I highly doubt we're leaving at 10 a.m.


	23. Infected

Though I wasn't in a particularly bad mood I skipped out on the whole skinny dipping thing, I wasn't that kind of teenager. Instead I lied beside the bus, pretending to guard as I wrote in my journal for the first time in several days.

**_Though time matters not it's obvious the past several days have been, needless to say, traumatizing, with my father's death and harassment from Keef, a heart once broken then mended has left me in a rather shocked state and I can't particularly take any anti-depressants to relax considering they're missing. I'd accuse Keef considering he obviously went through my bag that evening whilst I was. . . distracted, thus procuring my diary, but he hasn't the use for them, so I'll appoint that, 'case' as me leaving them at home._**

**_Well, I suppose I need to summarize this not another teen movie-esque, zombie apocalypse, well . . I don't need to but I feel the need to write once again, and now with the time to relax I can do so happily with my once perfect penmanship and use of higher level vocabulary. On day one we evacuated school (After Zim killed our escort and stole the bus), went to my home and I lost what I hope was my virginity, or at least my first consensual time. Day two was a tad bit more stressful, after sleeping with his beloved boyfriend I didn't blame Keef for hating my guts, and we fought. On the way to the facility that would promise my sister and I our safety we were pursued by the typical men and black, though they weren't after our little green men. . well teens rather they wanted to arrest us for grand theft and murder, only to be murdered themselves by Gir though they did reveal one rather traumatizing fact to add to the horror, they'd told us both my, and Gaz's father, Professor Membrane, perished. Needing rest after the bus had broken down, we sought out shelter in an inn in a rusty one-horse town. When given our, 'chore' of finding said inn by Zim, Keef attempted to show me that I didn't love Zim, rather I only lusted over the Irken by trying to pleasure me himself with rape. Thankflly, Zim saved me, though he seemed rather irritated with the both of us despite me not doing anything. ._**

**_That night, through the paper thin walls of the cheap motel( And an ever so classy peephole) I heard Zim and Keef argue over the events of the past few days, and for the first time I could hear Zim defend me, thus breaking it off with Keef for me. I suppose during the time we had. . . comforted each other (Which was the most amazing time of my life), Keef must have snuck on the bus to take my diary. . The next morning, whilst Zim attempted a 'round two' with me, we'd been attacked by a zombie, perhaps signaling that there were more, we quickly evacuated under Zim's orders. Whilst on the bus it was reveled that Keef did in fact take my diary when mentioning the incident of my rape at the age of thirteen, which he'd mentioned out of rage and jealousy._**  
**_I did feel bad for him after all that's happened, but thinking over it, he taunted me on my suicide attempt at fifteen, rape at thirteen and Zim not loving me now, I think I can say right now he is a prick, but we're falling apart and we need to stick together. Being realistic. . . I know in my heart the end is truly near. No one has mentioned what the officer said but it's been engraved into my mind that we're not going to make it. The world is going to tear at the seams, if the disease was spread in several countries aside our own have this epidemic than it was either a biological weapon (with no just reason as far as I know, though I was never up to speed with politics) or it spread from here rather quickly. We'd just experienced our first encounter not too long ago and every one but keef and I got a kick out of the malice. This leads me to worry that this is going to cause madness in the non-infected as well. I fear of it's consequences, and I know I won't be able to handle it._**  
**_Fro inside the bus I could hear an aching groan from Keef, he hadn't gotten out and I don't blame him, though he used to be so popular we've all pretty much exiled him. I wanted to make amends but I don't think now is the time, he sounds like he's crying._**

"Zim." I sighed, walking over to sit beside him, "You should talk to Keef. . ."

"How about no." He scoffed, putting an arm around me, "Loosen up."

"Zim, please." Zim sighed, glancing at me with an, 'Are you fucking serious' expression.

"Tak!" He called, "Go check on Keef."

So far, Tak was the only one who hadn't directly harmed Keef, so perhaps it was best. She nodded, walking over to the bus to check on the sobbing red-head, only to scream out Zim's name soon after. Both Zim and I ran over, with Gaz following behind soon after. Inside the bus, Tak stood with a gun to the ginger's head. Keef was paler than usual, to the point where his freckles didn't even appear on his cheeks and nose. His hair didn't change, that was obvious, but his eyes appeared pink no. . . blood-shot and swollen as they contrasted against his pale blue iris, it looked as if he was crying or had awful allergies but we could all tell what was going on.

Zim's eyes widened as he held a remote-like object towards the other as a beam scanned him.

"I'm okay!" Keef yelled, "I'm just under the weather! Trust me Zim!" His eyes began to cry though with ruptured tear-ducts and broken vessels, they bled.

"Infected." Zim frowned, looking down at the other, his expression merciless. "Prepare to die." He stated blatantly. We all looked around, As much as I wanted to I couldn't avert my eyes from the horrific scene.

"I understand I have to die, but I have my sanity!"

"Not for long."

"But Zimmy! I'm too young!"

"As are children but they die everyday, what makes you an exception?"

"I love you. . ."

"I'm sorry, but that feeling isn't mutual."

"You said you'd protect me!" he cried, "You promised!" He glanced down, knowing there wasn't a point in arguing. Both Gaz and Tak glanced at the floor with him, "Please. . . give me one last kiss."

"Sorry babe, you're infectious." He smirked.

"Then . . I'll get your fucking boyfriend if it's the last thing I do!" Before he could dare jumping at me, his body incinerated into ash before my eyes, and Zim stood still, with the gun in his hand and a blank expression.

"Let's go to bed." He said, sliding it back into his waist-band.


	24. Obsolete

**_A/N I guess I'm back. Idk man_**

After Keef's death it seemed as though reality hit me more than usual, savagery was amidst and I felt that this situation would have a, "Lord of the Flies" sort of appeal when it comes to the thin line between beast and human. Well, perhaps human isn't a correct term considering 3/5 of our 'party' is either Irken or Irken material (I.E Gir), but what I'm getting at hear sort of reflects the fact that once one is down the rest will fall like dominos, we'll turn against each other and claim it's for our safety, we'll argue, we'll fight, and we'll murder more than meer 'zombies', as a matter of fact we have, or at least Zim has, which leads me to the fact that he's more insane than I'd imagined and, yes. I have already considered his sanity, that being said, it was done so a long time ago, and re-analyzed when he'd decided to address me as his new beau, simply for the fact that I wouldn't give him any more leverage or bias.

The night was now silent, and both 'couples' separated, though there was no violent sex or make out sessions, this was no longer a party, this was no longer a game, people have died sure, the driver, those agents, but it's worse when it's a member of the party you're afflicted in, no? I mean, sure Keef was infected, we had no other choice, or did we? I mean Zim gave me the immunization, or vaccine, why didn't he provide one to the red-head whom, at the time, was his 'lover'? I can't help but question everything as I lie beside this Irken now. Why did he give it to me? Was I a mere Guinea pig? Or perhaps he really did like me all along as he'd claimed to. Then it makes me wonder why he didn't procure it himself, or Tak? I mean we're not 100% on whether or not an irken can contract it, I mean it's not unimaginable for an Irken to have some sort of similar immune system to humans, especially if they can contract something as mere as a pimple (Must I replay the whole Pustulio scenerio? I think not. Gross.) I mean if I were a human lab rat I wonder why he didn't use Tak for an irken variable.

I glanced aside to see Zim sleeping soundly, he didn't snore, his breath was barely there as a matter of fact. Beside him lay Gir, in sleep mode of course. I wasn't tired, but what choice did I have but to sleep here right now. . . we'd have to get up early anyways, at least the travel would be over by tomorrow evening.

I hope.

The images that flowed through my mind were obtuse and obscure, everything was topsy turvy and nothing really made sense, I suppose it was one of those dreams you just couldn't grasp, but sort of wanted to, as if there was something inside it. I felt as though I was in the hospital again but my eyes wouldn't open. . . it seems so. . . surreal.

They're trying to wake me up, I need to wake up. . . My eyes parted and Zim was sitting up.

"Morning."

I looked down at Gir at the foot of the bed.

"Gir, Wake Mode."

Zim glanced back to see Gir still lying still.

"Gir...Wake up!" He yelled at it, sliding his other boot on. He rushed over, checking the robot, his eyes flickered for a moment and Zim looked calm...only to return crest fallen when the light burned out. He inspected it.

"Gir! This isn't a joke!" He yelled. But the robot remained stiff and limp.

Tak and Gaz crept into the room, and Zim motioned for Tak to come closer. They spoke to one another in Irken and he handed the drone to Tak, only to have her inspect it shortly and hand it back, glancing down.

"He's obsolete."

"He has always been!"

"He's been burned out."

Zim glanced down at the 'puppy' his gaze cold as he sighed. It was shocking, to see him so. . .dismal over Gir, he'd always been so fed up and irritated with the thing, but it hit him. Though he always seemed to irritate the shit out of Zim, Gir just wanted to try and be loyal, he tried. He wasn't smart enough and it wasn't his fault. . .

Zim pulled it close, showing unusual affection as he held it in his thin arms. I suppose the regret of mistreating it so kicked in, because the odd affection furthered when he ran his hand along the pet's head, petting it. The more I think about it, the more I realize that for all these years, Gir was his only friend, his only family. . . his everything. . .

He sighed, standing with it in his arms. As he turned to face us, everyone glanced away.

"Everyone get on the bus, we're leaving. ."

As if the ride couldn't get any more awkward. . . perhaps I could try to console him.

I hope.


	25. Love and Insanity

**_AN Wow look an update. Sorry it's so short it's the third I've written tonight. No inspiration, just coffee and sleep deprivation._**

Zim had me sit on the floor, that way his head could rest on my lap, Tak drove and Gaz just sat there, no one spoke.

"We could try to get him updated and rebooted." Tak suggested.

"Shut the hell up."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, Shut. The. Hell. Up. Do you comprehend the earth colloquialism, Tak or must I use Irken dialect?!"

"She's only trying to help!" Gaz yelled, Zim stood, pulling a gun from his waist band.

"I've about had it with you imbecile." He glanced around. I scooted away from his feet.

"Zim don't. . ." I whispered, the fear in my voice evident.

"You prick." he laughed turning to face me, "How fucking cute, you fear me. Which means you didn't fucking believe me when I said I liked you, and I understood you. Do you really think that I'd destroy you?"

Guilt banged in my heart as my eyes casted their glance to the floor of the bus.

"I meant everything I said, whether you, or keef, or anyone believes it or not, if you honestly don't believe me, that's on you." He hissed, "But we can deal with this later, as of current I'll deal with the both of you." he turned to face the others.

"You're insane." Tak spat, "You never were bright, this isn't intelligence, it's psychopathy."

Zim simply smirked, "Not even close."

"Then you want it to be this way?"

"And why would I?" he hissed, "I've lost my pet."

"He never mean thtat much to you, it's foolish to grow attached to a simple drone. Especially a malfunctioning waste of metal like Gi-"

Before she could finish Zim's gun was to her head, and a split second later, hers was at his stomach.

"I'd shoot." She hissed.

"Do it. I'd like to see this."

"You would never-"

And instantaneously he did, and Tak. . . was gone.

"You monster!" Gaz screamed. I held her back.

"There will be no more disobeying from this point on, I've made my point plenty clear." He sighed. "Gaz. Drive."

I could see the fear in her face, in her eyes and in the way her hands shook. She was afraid.

"Zims right. . . you're weak."

"And what about you?"

"I've always known who I'd been falling for. I knew what I was in for from the beginning, the way he mercilessly killed an innocent man to steal a bus, or the pleasure he gained in killing those. . . zombies. The thing is I don't mind. . . Of course the life of a human has infinite value and all that but, even gold looses value in large quantities." he sighed, "Every human is one of a kind, but there are so many of those there's no point if you sincerely think about it."

"What are you getting at."

"Zim is awfully rare."

He glanced at me from across the bench.

"So he's a commodity?"

"He's nothing I'd simply collect, that's impossible really considering of all the humans he's collected me."

"You're making no point."

"There isn't a point to make . . . I suppose I was just rambling." I sighed, I didn't understand the point I was trying to make either, it was there but of course I could play it off as if I was just being mindless. I thought so at least until he spoke up.

"I love you too."

"What?"

"Your point, you had one, you simply couldn't interpret it. From what I can assess, in layman's terms, you just stated, you love me for who I am murderer, maniac, man or irken. And. . . of all the humans I chose you. Does this make you feel special?"

My face burned a bit as I glanced down, "Perhaps."

"Was I right?"

"Perhaps." I smiled.

"You're both fucking psychos."

"Shut up, Gaz."

"What?"

"I said, shut up!" I hissed, "I'm only helping you because you're a scared little girl! Nothing more! You're no sister of mine what so ever!"

A smirk crept onto Zim's face as I yelled.

"I think what Dib is getting at here is Blood is thicker than water."

"That should mean he's here for me, not you." Gaz spoke, hatred in her tone.

"The blood of brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb." I said, reciting the full term, "It's so funny how you think after all the shit you gave me, I'd defend you just because we're related, Hilarious." I chuckled, "Fuck that, if you want to live you'll behave. If you refuse to listen to me as your older brother, you will listen to me as the man in charge of your life." I finally breathed, then I glanced over at Zim, "And you. . ." his eye brow raised as he sat up, looking forward to his part, "I love you too." I said, his expression shocked as I pressed my lips to his.

I suppose right there is when I felt sincere mutual love. . . with no questioning as to whether or not he could really feel love, or if I was just a pawn, he held my face and I held his, and the kiss wasn't heated or lusty, but our lips met, over and over again, and he rested his forehead on mine.

I sort of wanted to cry, and I sort of wanted to laugh.

The irony was so disgusting, the first time I felt loved was from Zim of all people, the first time I felt this. . . actual love, like someone cared, and not the enamorment of a crush. .. the first time I felt this, the world was going to end.


End file.
